England v India – live | Rob Smyth

• Bash F5 or use our autorefresher for the latest updates • Email your thoughts to rob.smyth@guardian.co.uk • Click here for the full scoreboard 35th over: India 179-2 (Patel 93, Kohli 37) Kohli crashes Trott’s even slower ball square on the off side for four. Seven from the over, another good one for India. They could still make 300, which would be a pretty formidable score. 34th over: India 172-2 (Patel 93, Kohli 31) Patel is fortunate to survive a huge shout for LBW when he misses a sweep at Samit Patel and is hit on the pad in front of middle. Billy Doctrove says not out, although Hawkeye suggests it was hitting middle and leg two-thirds of the way up. “About the whole donkey thing…” begins Matthew Parker. “The Times of India, that well known rabble-rousing sensationalist rag, wilfully misunderstood what Nasser Hussain said and manufactured this outrage. The misunderstanding they pushed though, and which many of their readers willfully latched onto, was that he called Indians donkeys in the same way as Bhaji (allegedly) called Symonds a monkey, with racial connotations. Thankfully many of their readers pointed out that it’s just slang and these posts were recommended a lot. The rest were split between people frothing at the mouth and calling for retribution (and saying they could now use ‘monkey’ freely) and those saying he was absolutely right to say it and the BCCI are just trying to deflect attention from their failings (and also from the fact that they’re reported to be paying zero tax on their vast earnings at a time when anti-corruption sentiment is very high). Really it’s just the BCCI and the newspaper, and the usual message-board nutters. (Interestingly the newspaper filtered my several posts trying to explain that it was just racially neutral and inoffensive slang yet failed to filter many appalling anti-Muslim posts.)” The internet, so much to answer for. 33rd over: India 167-2 (Patel 92, Kohli 28) Jonathan Trott comes on for Dernbach. His first five balls cost just three, but then Patel pulls witheringly over midwicket for four to move into the nineties. “Finally Holding has spotted Stokes,” says Anand. “I love the man (Holding)! If India had done this (and they did it a lot in the Test series – fielding injured or unfit players) and got flak (deservedly so), I don’t think Stokes’ playing should be put down to Flower’s tactical nous and be defended.” But Stokes is a batsman as well, and presumably he/they feel it doesn’t affect his batting. He does look uncomfortable at backward point, mind. 32nd over: India 160-2 (Patel 87, Kohli 26) Patel slog-sweeps Patel emphatically for four, and then survives an LBW when he misses a similar stroke to a ball that hits him outside the line of off stump. India have gone up a gear, with 41 runs from the last six overs. “Further to David Horn’s 2nd over email, I would be the third of a particularly nefarious triumvirate who knew about the cricket,” says Mac Millings. “Even better, I didn’t know that England were playing football yesterday. One of the benefits (despite the constant threat of being mistaken for a squirrel and shot by the locals for my delicious brains) of living in South Carolina.” 31st over: India 153-2 (Patel 83, Kohli 24) Patel waves Dernbach in the air but wide of mid on and away for four. He is now 17 short of the first one-day hundred of his professional career, and India are building a very handy score. Here’s Paul King, the executive producer of Sky’s cricket coverage, with a bit more info on Hotspot and Snicko: “Re: hotspot – the manufacturers have never claimed it’s perfect and it may miss very fine edges occasionally. Re: snicko – it isn’t just the amount of time it takes. There are a number of different versions of ‘snicko’ in operation around the world so it would be difficult for ICC to vet them all for DRS. The one we use is the original UK patented version. In addition, Snicko’s function is to synchronize noise with pictures. It’s not necessarily a noise off the bat – it’s just a noise. In the end though it may just be that Dravid didn’t hit it!” Has anyone seen the Hughes LBW in the week? It sounds a bit weird . If you have a link, please do send it in. 30th over: India 146-2 (Patel 78, Kohli 22) India haven’t targeted Patel yet, they are just milking him for singles. Three in that over. “Maybe I am getting too old for OBO,” says John Bottomley. “Apart from lol, I have been completely unable to translate ‘lol ihm godue outtari,c u ats bar lol!!!’ into English. Can you recommend a good Textish/English dictionary?” Don’t even bother trying. Just accept, as the rest of us have, that you’re doomed to spend the rest of your days in ignorant confusion. Once you accept that it’s almost liberating. 29th over: India 143-2 (Patel 77, Kohli 20) Kohli greets the returning Dernbach with a disdainful, fast-handed pull for four. Shot! Then Patel, running round from fine leg, does well to save another boundary. 28th over: India 134-2 (Patel 74, Kohli 14) Patel cracks Patel just over the leaping Anderson at cover. A decent over for England, though, and Patel has done a good job thus far: 4-0-16-0. “Morning Smyth, morning everybody,” says Josh Robinson. “Given that the person who knows best whether he’s hit it is the batsman, but that his motivation is not always the same as that of the umpire, I wonder if the best procedure would be for umpires to give the batsman out in the event that there’s a a close call on an edge, and to rely on the batsman reviewing it in the event that he’s not got an edge for a caught-behind, or that he has for an LBW.” In the nicest possible sense of the word, no. 27th over: India 131-2 (Patel 72, Kohli 13) Patel pulls Bresnan for consecutive boundaries, the first since the 21st over. That’s the big over India needed, 12 from it. “Being at university means that time is distorted beyond all meaning, rendering cut off times redundant for most people,” says Chris Betteridge. “However, i still like to employ a cut-off time of midnight and turn my phone off then, otherwise you are woken up every 10 minutes with mindless texts such as “where r u?”, “just gone for a smoke, c u in there m8″, “i love you”, and my personal favourite “lol ihm godue outtari,c u ats bar lol!!!”” which, although amusing, means permanent insomnia is only a few nights away.” 26th over: India 119-2 (Patel 60, Kohli 12) Kohli tries to pull Patel and ends up gloving the ball into his body. Three singles from the over. India need to press on just a touch. “One of my all time favourite OBO comments/emotional confession involved a genius chancer, who admitted that during dry spells with the ladies, he finished texts to single women with a few kisses xxx,” says Tom Van der Gucht. “If they added an xx back on their reply, he would count it as a pull. His revolutionary approach to what constitutes a seduction seriously bucked up my own pull stats from poor to acceptable, thank you.” 25th over: India 116-2 (Patel 59, Kohli 11) Two from Bresnan’s over. The last 10 overs have been pretty good for England, with India scoring 41 for two. “Is it just me (with a less than perfect knowledge of cricket), or does Hotspot seem to be missing decisions lately that Snicko gets?” says Jamie Tucker. “Or has it always been thus? I certainly don’t want to go down the route of claiming about vaselined edges, because of course I don’t have a shred of evidence. Is Snicko just more sensitive?” I think Snicko has always been more accurate, yeah, but it takes a minute or two to fire up and therefore can’t be used. One thing we don’t know is how much independent testing has been done on Hotspot and Hawkeye. Maybe a bit more transparency would help remove some of the current concerns. 24th over: India 114-2 (Patel 58, Kohli 10) A cluster of singles in that Patel over. You know the drill. This is now a career-best score for Parthiv Patel. “What are we doing?” says John Starbuck. Devising different ways to cook rhubarb apparently. I’ve always found it works best in a tea-bread. However, as I’m writing this from within the Rhubarb Triangle, I’d like to know what anyone’s doing this for out of season?” 23rd over: India 109-2 (Patel 56, Kohli 7) Bresnan is on for Dernbach (4-0-23-0). Patel underedges a pull short of the keeper and then fails to connect with a slower bouncer. Five from the over. 22nd over: India 104-2 (Patel 54, Kohli 5) Samit Patel is going to replace Broad. There’s more pressure on him today, as he’s the only spinner. Parthiv Patel opens the face to glide him elegantly for three, and there are two additional singles from the over. “I think if all the toys are used, we would be able to get less controversies and correct decisions,” says Anand. “What I meant is using this half-arsed system is not doing anyone any good and eventually, we might shun it for the wrong reasons. I also think subconsciously the umpires are extending the use of technology in situations when it was not meant to be used. If the onfield decision had been upheld in Dravid’s case, it wouldn’t have been classified a howler.” Yes, I completely agree with that. Part of the problem seems to be that nobody can decide whether it should be used simply to eradicate howlers, or whether the third umpire should have even more power as the on-field umpires and therefore be allowed to overrule them on a judgement call. Which is what Marais Erasmus did today and, while he got it right, he also got it wrong in a sense. 21st over: India 99-2 (Patel 51, Kohli 3) Patel flick pulls Dernbach for four, and then steers a couple to third man to bring up a good half-century from 66 balls. “I’ve never found the F5 to work,” says Danielle Tolson. “I’m flicking back to Nigel Slater’s archive pages (all good) & back to the OBO to get an update. I’ll have two rhubarb recipes for every wicket by the end of the match.” So, to summarise: our auto-refresh doesn’t work, the F5 doesn’t work, the prose is mediocre and the sun is shining outside. What are you doing ? 20th over: India 91-2 (Patel 44, Kohli 2) Patel misses an attempted steer off a short ball from Broad, who has a good rhythm now and is regularly sledging Patel. The next ball is also short, and Patel pulls it this far short of Morgan, running round from deep midwicket. This is top stuff from Broad. His first two overs went for 20; since then his figures are 4-0-10-2. “I think some of the OBOrs don’t realise the excitement of the vibrating mobile late at night,” says Lizzy Ammon in an interesting piece of phrasing. “Until you realise it’s a message from your mobile phone provider telling you you’ve got loads of free texts left this month (which is basically code for ‘you’ve got no friends have you?’)” 19th over: India 90-2 (Patel 43, Kohli 2) Snickometer suggests that Dravid was out, as we suspected. But I’m still not sure it should have been given out. Confused? Excellent, now lie down on my couch… “The BCCI seems to be winning this argument against technology, don’t they” says Anand. I don’t know about that. The problem has been with consistency as much as anything, and that isn’t helped by the fact that different technology is used in different series. But certain things, including the Phil Hughes LBW this week, have told us that we need to be a bit more cautious. Still, on balance, technology is a Very Good Thing. 18th over: India 88-2 (Patel 42, Kohli 1) A few of you (okay, two) have said there’s no description of the wicket. It’s this bloody auto-refresh problem, which we’ve had for a year now. If you press F5 it should appear. WICKET! India 87-2 (Dravid c Kieswetter b Broad 2) Dravid pushes at a good one from Broad and appears to edge it Craig Kieswetter, but Billy Doctrove says not out. England review the decision straight away, convinced it’s out. There’s a noise at exactly the right moment, but Hotspot shows nothing. The third umpire can’t give this out. England were sure it was out, and didn’t so much appeal as celebrate. I suspect that it was out, but it certainly shouldn’t be given out. Blimey, it has been given out! That is a big surprise, and it’s a pretty controversial decision. Dravid has been given out solely on noise. Let’s hope replays don’t show it was his aglet again. 17th over: India 86-1 (Patel 41, Dravid 2) This is Rahul Dravid’s first ODI for two years. He gets off the mark with a push into the off side off Dernbach, one of four singles from the over. 16th over: India 82-1 (Patel 39, Dravid 0) This will be a really good test for England, because they don’t have Graeme Swann to return figures of 10-0-40-2. The pitch and overhead conditions have done nowhere near as much as England would have expected when they won the toss. They really needed that wicket. WICKET! India 82-1 (Rahane c Patel b Broad 40) Stuart Broad takes an important wicket when Rahane pulls straight down the the throat of Patel at fine leg. Rahane goes for 40 from 44 balls, an innings of rich promise. 15th over: India 78-0 (Patel 36, Rahane 39) Jade Dernbach, who has had a wonderful start to his England career (he averages 23.63 in ODIs and 8.00 in T20), comes on to replace Anderson. His second ball is in the slot and driven wonderfully over mid on for four by Rahane. “Oh yes!” says Nasser on Sky. As Sanjay Manjrekar keeps stressing, everything looks so effortless and graceful. India may well have found a player. His first-class average isn’t bad . Patel is playing extremely well too, and when Dernbach drops short he plays another emphatic pull stroke for four, one foot off the ground. 14th over: India 69-0 (Patel 32, Rahane 34) Two from Broad’s third over. The pacing of this partnership, from two young players in alien conditions, has been exemplary: 15 from the first overs, 28 from the next five, and 26 from the last four. 13th over: India 67-0 (Patel 31, Rahane 33) Anderson is still bowling, which isn’t a bad tactic because he often gets panned at the death. India are on the attack at the moment, mind you, and Patel limbo dances cleverly to lift a short ball to third man for four. He gets four more to the same position next ball, this time by opening the face. On Sky, Nasser Hussain reckons that third man and fine leg might be a touch too wide. The wagon wheel suggests he’s right. “Has society not now evolved beyond the calling or answering of ‘landlines’ (wrinkles nose in disgust)?” says Alex Book. “I think everyone gets to decide for themselves when it’s too late, by turning their phones to silent. Anyone who rings my landline after phone-off-o-clock better have some seriously bad news to deliver, or I will NOT be happy.” ‘Your best friend has died in a tragic Warhammer accident.’ ‘Thank heaven for that, I thought you’d just phoned to talk about the economy.’ 12th over: India 58-0 (Patel 23, Rahane 33) Rahane brings up a controlled fifty partnership with a classy, wristy flick over midwicket for four when Broad overpitches. He looks extremely exciting, and makes room to thrash another boundary over extra cover. Superb batting. “If Stokes has got a dodgy finger,” asks Jack Fray, “what’s he doing fielding at point?” Well exactly. I don’t know. But Andy Flower knows, so I’m sure there’s a reason. 11th over: India 48-0 (Patel 23, Rahane 23) Anderson continues into his sixth over, and Cook misses a possible run-out chance when Rahane takes a sharp single to mid on. A poor over becomes a decent one for India when Patel flicks the last delivery round the corner for four. “This texting business,” says John Starbuck. “You mean, people leave their mobile phones on after they go to bed?” Only if they’re utterly desperate interested in discussing the weather or the economy. 10th over: India 43-0 (Patel 19, Rahane 22) Stuart Broad replaces Tim Bresnan, and only an inside edge saves Rahane from being plumb LBW to a very full delivery. Rahane responds beautifully, chipping the next ball lazily back over Broad’s head for four. An eventful over continues when Rahane inside edges Broad just past the leg stump, and concludes when Patel hooks swaggeringly for four. “In an odd way, I’m pleased for Australia,” says David Horn. “It’d be genuinely good to see them put together a new looking side with a bit about them. Do we know much about Lyon (6 for 100 odd overall) or Copeland – who bowled very economically? And nice to know that Hughes still can’t get past 30 – that’s always reassuring.” Yeah, I’m really pleased for them. Copeland was one of the four pacemen of the apocalypse picked out by Steve Waugh, but I don’t know much about any of them. Good to see the excellent, underrated Ryan Harris excelling, and look at Shane Watson’s match figures: 19-7-30-5! He is such a good cricketer these days. 9th over: India 33-0 (Patel 14, Rahane 17) Patel jerks away from a sharp Anderson bouncer. The sedate start continues with just one from the over. “It’s an interesting discussion, the ‘texting at what hour etiquette’ one,” says Lizzy Ammon. “If a man is texting a woman (single or otherwise) after midnight he isn’t after a discussion on the weather or the economy. And, actually, that’s a very good thing.” Tell that to the ladies who receive apres-midnight texts from this modern hero . 8th over: India 32-0 (Patel 13, Rahane 17) Rahane drives Bresnan expansively over extra cover, but the outfield is fairly slow and he only gets three for it. Then Patel, working to leg, gets a leading edge just wide of backward point, and finally Rahane drags a poor delivery round the corner for four. On Sky, Bumble points out that both sides have only four survivors from their last World Cup game, although that’s largely down to injury in India’s case. 7th over: India 24-0 (Patel 12, Rahane 10) Anderson beats Patel with a beauty, seaming away just enough from a good length. It’s 20th-century ODI cricket at the moment, but India’s approach is a pretty sensible one. “Like the BCCI, I am disappointed in Nasser’s donkey remarks,” says Steve Betteley. “Eeyore to know better.” 6th over: India 20-0 (Patel 8, Rahane 10) Patel is dropped by Stokes at backward point. He flailed at a wide delivery from Bresnan, and the ball flew low to the right of Stokes, who put it down. It actually hit the bottom of his hand rather than going into the middle. You would expect that to be taken eight or nine times out of ten at international level; in Stokes’s defence, the ball died on him a touch, and he also has a damaged finger that precludes him from bowling. Later in the over, a short ball from Bresnan sits up nicely for Rahane to pull smoothly for four. That’s not the length on this pitch. 5th over: India 15-0 (Patel 7, Rahane 6) Patel misses a big drive at a fuller delivery from Anderson that snakes away off the seam. He gets it right next ball, punching a thoroughbred drive down the ground for the first boundary of the innings. India needed that because you could sense that the batsmen were getting a touch impatient. 4th over: India 10-0 (Patel 2, Rahane 6) When these sides met in the World Cup, India were 247 for none after four overs, but this is a whole different white-ball game, and they don’t have two little masters this time. Rahane’s first real attacking stroke is almost his last, with a shortish delivery from Bresnan trampolining past his attempted cut shot. “I tend to live my life by the ‘What Would Larry David Do?’ principle,” says human success Ryan Dunne, “but texting too late is surely as much of a faux pas as phoning (as people can at least ignore a ringing phone, harder with an unread text). It also surely depends on whether the person being phoned/txted is single. Men can be jealous (not saying they should) when their girlfriends get texts around bedtime, although I once actually phoned a girl when (unbeknown to me) she was having sex with her boyfriend: she stopped what (or who) she was doing and answered! Alternatively, I can see someone thinking it’s ok to txt a single friend at 11pm as they’re bound to just be obsessively surfing www.cracked.com, empireonline.com, blogs, bongo, google image searches of that scene in Black Swan, www.guardian.co.uk/sport etc etc.” 3rd over: India 7-0 (Patel 1, Rahane 5) England have started by bowling a good length, rather than pitching it up. Anderson jags one back into the pads of Rahane, but it was too high to think about an LBW appeal. Rahane tucks another straight delivery off the pads for a single. That’s the only run from a quiet over. 2nd over: India 6-0 (Patel 1, Rahane 4) Tim Bresnan will share the new ball. England have a strong seam attack today, with Stuart Broad and Jade Dernbach to come. Two from the over. India’s batsmen haven’t attempted any big strokes yet. In these conditions it’s sensible to take a little while to get your eye in. “Morning Rob, morning – er, everyone?” says David Horn. “Who knew that there was cricket today? (Apart from you and Mr. Naylor). I’m going to have to rearrange my entire day – remembering to bring my phone with me to the park. However – scandal! Earlier, my seven-year-old son called me ‘fat’. Needless to say, I’m launching a full investigation – after second breakfasts. It’s a good job he hasn’t seen me fielding.” I’m sure you’re a thoroughbred. 1st over: India 4-0 (Patel 1, Rahane 3) Jimmy Anderson will open the bowling. Everyone expects the ball to move around early on, and there is a little bit of swing in Anderson’s first over. Patel flicks the first ball for a single, and then the debutant Rahane rolls the wrists to get a two and another single into the leg side. In case you haven’t heard , Australia have completed a fine win in the first Test at Galle . MS Dhoni confirms that Sachin Tendulkar is unfit; it’s a foot problem. Alastair Cook talks about “me and Kiesy” at the top of the order. There’s only Keysy in English cricket, Cook, and you’d do well to remember it. Two things to talk about today 1. Last night, being a consummate professional, I rejected literally nones of offers for a big Friday night out, instead preferring to prepare for today with a quiet night in, doing my preparatory OBO exercises (think Brian Jacks, only not ) and watching some early Curb Your Enthusiasm. In one episode, Larry was talking about the cut-off point for late-night phonecalls (he said 10.30pm, everyone else said 10pm; farce ensued). Which got me thinking: is there a cut-off point for texts? (In midweek, that is: we all know how texting works of a weekend, when you have one Bonhomie Enhancer too many and think it’s a really, really, really, really, really good idea to send that text at 1.24am, and then follow up with a phonecall, and then a house visit with a boombox blaring a la Say Anything .) If so, surely it should be later? Also, shouldn’t it be tailored to the individual? I know that if I text Scott Murray at 1am, he’ll probably still be up sniffing paint and writing 800 words of genius, whereas I know certain other folk will be in bed, what with having wives and lives. 2. What’s going on with society and fabricated anger? It’s getting totally out of control. The latest example is the outrage at Nasser Hussain using the word “donkeys” to describe some Indian fielders. Frankly, donkeys is a generous description of some of their fielders. In this case I assume it’s a disingenuous reaction to Nasser wiping the floor with Ravi Shastri the other week, but that doesn’t make it any more palatable. In fact it’s nothing short of pathetic. England have won the toss and will bowl first. Cloud cover, 10.15am start and all that. Graeme Swann is injured, and Sachin Tendulkar is out: we’re not sure whether he’s injured, rested or has been withdrawn by the BCCI in protest at the thing nobody is calling donkeygate . Tendulkar’s absence means an ODI debut for the exciting Ajinkya Rahane. England Cook (c), Kieswetter (wk), Trott, Morgan, Bell, Stokes, Patel, Bresnan, Broad, Anderson, Dernbach. India Rahane, Patel, Dravid, Kohli, Sharma, Raina, Dhoni (c/wk), Ashwin, P Kumar, V Kumar, Patel. Preamble Morning. After a long summer of cricket, a five-match ODI series would usually be about as welcome as a hole in the head, eye contact or a brain swap with a member of Kasabian. But this contest between England and India is different – so much so that, for once, I wasn’t entirely disgusted when my alarm ripped me from my happy place this morning. It’s the galacticos against the galacticoach , the world champions against the best coach in the world, a man who will not rest until English cricket is a three-dimensional world, equally adept at Test, 50-over and Twenty20 cricket. The English players might have something to do with this series, too. There is some hot, hot young talent on both sides, Sachin Tendulkar is on 99 not out; at this rate we might even get some interesting middle overs. India in England 2011 England cricket team India cricket team Cricket Rob Smyth guardian.co.uk

Posted by on September 3, 2011. Filed under News, Politics, World News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.