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Saturday clockwatch | Scott Murray

• Email scott.murray@guardian.co.uk with all your musings • Click here for all the latest scores from around Europe • All the stats and tables you need are here 3.20pm: Wolves aren’t offering very much in the wake of Liverpool’s goal. A bit more on that: Johnson really guided his header quite adroitly into the bottom right corner. It was exquisitely placed, a real freak scene. “So Adam didn’t have to play in the Carling Cup and doesn’t miss a league game either?” realises Dominic Wright. “Win–win! Basically you get a free red the game before any CC fixture. Got to be careful to make it a one gamer though. Adam would have seen straight red for his challenge on Parker and been three games out had he not craftily been yellowed earlier in the game. You have to admit he’s an intelligent player.” 3.18pm: Andy Carroll has got a header on target! It’s easily saved by Wayne Hennessey, but small acorns and all that. “It’s midnight in eastern Australia, and I’ve just got home from my football club presentation night,” begins Martin O’Connor, who will eventually get to the point, I promise. “We have a system called ‘viewers choice’ on our Sky equivalent, through which we can watch any of the games about to kick off. This is all by the by though as What the Hell has Sandro done to his hair? For those who can’t see it, it’s a Neymar style shaved back and sides with an unruly thatch on top, but Sandro has tinted the clippered bits blue.” 3.15pm: Pajtim Kasami has just put the ball into the net for Fulham at struggling West Brom, but it won’t count, the referee’s assistant putting his flag up. “I think CLOCKO is a pretty decent monicker,” opines Phillip Wainwright. “Similar to Snicko in cricket, and that has a respected reputation. Then again, there’s always an exception.” 3.10pm: “CLOCKO™ foreign correspondent gig taken yet?” asks Phillippa Booth. Nope. It’s all yours. Come on, then, where’s your copy? “Am watching Arsenal v Bolton and within two minutes Koscielny’s nearly managed to knock himself out.” Meanwhile there’s been a goal at Anfield: Charlie Adam has cut inside from the left, unleashing a shot towards the bottom-right corner. The ball’s going wide – until Roger Johnson directed it into the net with a needless diving header. Liverpool 1-0 Wolverhampton Wanderers. 3.07pm: It’s all Spurs at the Wigan stadium. Wolves continue to make chances at Anfield. And it could easily be 1-1 at the Emirates; not sure who went close for Bolton, but Gervinho has just spurned a decent chance to put Arsenal ahead “Still think AVB will fail, though,” says Jamie Jackson. 3.03pm: An early goal for Rafael van der Vaart at the JJB, or whatever it’s called now: Wigan Athletic 0-1 Tottenham Hotspur. Meanwhile, anyone for Ceefax memories with Anthony O Connell? “I remember in the 1980s when Liverpool were winning every Saturday in the days of 3pm kick offs,” he writes. “All you had to do was press 303 to see by how much they had won. Now I’m half afraid to check the score!” Well, you should probably leave this page, then, because I categorically haven’t chanced upon an illegal feed of their game against Wolves at Anfield, but I can tell you that the away side have the upper hand in the early exchanges. 3pm: Right, it’s kick-off time! Although it’s already all over for Everton fans such as Gary Naylor: “When your team plays the lunchtime Saturday match and loses, it’s an awful long time before you can avoid watching Match of the Day.” 2.55pm: “Think you’re right about AVB’s rocks,” replies CLOCKO™ swinger correspondent Jamie Jackson. “He also seems to like a argument with anyone who gives him one. Can trip himself up, too; offer up too much; and be too defensive. Just like us all, then.” He sounds absolutely brilliant. I think I’m developing a slight crush. 2.50pm: I’ve not done Clockwatch for a while, and have just been informed that this feature is now referred to in the office as Clocko. I’m not sure whether I approve of this or not. Clocko. Whither gravitas? Clocko. It’s quite snappy, I suppose, not quite veering into the unacceptable arena of Banter. Well, if I must. So here’s more from CLOCKO™ correspondent Jamie Jackson: “David Luiz is also an intriguing one: wasn’t he supposedly Beckenbauer, Jackie Charlton and Eusabio, only with better hair than any of them? Today: dropped, again.” He’s laughably useless, though, isn’t he? Villas Boas knows exactly what he’s doing, and appears to have a massive set of rocks on him too, quite happy to get shot of the deadwood and anyone else he doesn’t like. I wonder if he’ll sell John Terry to Basingstoke Town in the January transfer window? 2.40pm: Manchester City have beaten Everton. City go top, Everton stay in seventh. Just for now, obviously. Up in northern Britain, Rangers have won 4-0 at Dunfermline: they go seven clear of Celtic at the top of the SPL, though of course Celtic have their game against Inverness Caley Thistle coming right up. Dunfermline drop a place to ninth. And confirmation, if confirmation were needed, that Frank Lampard is indeed on the bench. Oh Frank! “Frank Lampard run out with the subs and dutifully applauded the nearby fans,” reports our man Jamie Jackson from Stamford Bridge. “There may be a view that he is being rested but JT is playing.” Chelsea v Swansea: Chelsea: Cech, Bosingwa, Ivanovic, Terry, Cole, Mikel, Mata, Meireles, Ramires, Torres, Anelka. Subs: Turnbull, Luiz, Lampard, Drogba, Malouda, McEachran, Kalou. Swansea: Vorm, Rangel, Monk, Williams, Taylor, Britton, Gower, Allen, Dyer, Lita, Sinclair. Subs: Tremmel, Graham, Dobbie, Routledge, Moore, Bessone, Richards. Referee: Mike Dean (Wirral) 2.35pm: James Milner has scored for City against Everton. That’s 2-0 with a couple of minutes to go, and game over. They’ll go top of the table for nearly five hours at the very least, with Manchester United playing Stoke City at 5.30pm this evening. Meanwhile look at what we have here! It’s more Premier League team news… Arsenal v Bolton Wanderers: Arsenal: Szczesny, Sagna, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Gibbs, Arteta, Song, Ramsey, Gervinho, van Persie, Walcott. Subs: Fabianski, Rosicky, Andre Santos, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Arshavin, Frimpong, Chamakh. Bolton: Jaaskelainen, Wheater, Robinson, Knight, Steinsson, Eagles, Reo-Coker, Muamba, Pratley, Petrov, Ngog. Subs: Bogdan, Sanli, Gardner, Kevin Davies, Mark Davies, Boyata, Kakuta. 2.30pm: More hot, hot, hot Premier League teamsheets. Print them off and hold the warm paper against your body. Newcastle United v Blackburn Rovers: Newcastle: Krul, Simpson, Steven Taylor, Coloccini, Ryan Taylor, Obertan, Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez, Ba, Best. Subs: Harper, Guthrie, Ben Arfa, Lovenkrands, Perch, Marveaux, Sammy Ameobi. Blackburn: Robinson, Salgado, Samba, Givet, Dann, Hoilett, Lowe, Nzonzi, Olsson, Formica, Yakubu. Subs: Bunn, Grella, Petrovic, Rochina, Vukcevic, Roberts, Hanley. West Bromwich Albion v Fulham: West Brom: Foster, Reid, McAuley, Olsson, Shorey, Dorrans, Mulumbu, Brunt, Odemwingie, Long, Thomas. Subs: Fulop, Tchoyi, Morrison, Dawson, Jones, Cox, Scharner. Fulham: Schwarzer, Baird, Grygera, Hangeland, John Arne Riise, Kasami, Sidwell, Murphy, Dempsey, Dembele, Orlando Sa. Subs: Etheridge, Kelly, Ruiz, Senderos, Gecov, Etuhu, Briggs. 2.25pm: It’s now 4-0 for Rangers at East End Park. Steven Naismith has scored his second of the game; Carlos Bocanegra and Maurice Edu notched the others. There are eight minutes to go in that game. 2.22pm: The first Premier League teamsheets of the day are through. No Jermain Defoe for Spurs; he’s got the sniffles. Meanwhile at Anfield, Steven Gerrard starts on the bench, alongside the excellent Craig Bellamy, who is surprisingly dropped for Andy Carroll. Still, Kenny Dalglish keeps saying he’s got a squad and not a team, so there you go. Liverpool v Wolverhampton Liverpool: Reina, Kelly, Carragher, Skrtel, Jose Enrique, Henderson, Lucas, Adam, Downing, Carroll, Suarez. Subs: Doni, Gerrard, Coates, Kuyt, Spearing, Flanagan, Bellamy. Wolverhampton: Hennessey, Stearman, Johnson, Berra, Ward, Henry, Hunt, Edwards, O’Hara, Jarvis, Doyle. Subs: De Vries, Elokobi, Fletcher, Hammill, Milijas, Guedioura, Doherty. Wigan v Tottenham: Wigan: Al Habsi, Gohouri, Caldwell, Figueroa, Van Aanholt, Diame, Watson, McCarthy, Moses, Di Santo, Gomez. Subs: Kirkland, Crusat, Maloney, McArthur, Sammon, Jones, Stam. Tottenham: Friedel, Walker, Kaboul, King, Assou-Ekotto, Modric, Parker, Sandro, Bale, Van der Vaart, Adebayor. Subs: Cudicini, Giovani, Bassong, Corluka, Livermore, Townsend, Carroll. 2.20pm: Some latest scores: Mario Balotelli has put Manchester City 1-0 up against Everton. Rangers, meanwhile, are 3-0 up at Dunfermline. Celtic will need to put away Caley Thistle at Parkhead later on. It shouldn’t be a bother the way Terry Butcher’s side are playing this season, now Adam Rooney has gone, but ICT have a habit of annoying Celtic, so you never know. (You probably do know, though.) 2.15pm: Hats off to Andre Villas-Boas. He clearly has no truck with picking old favourites just to keep the English press happy. Frank Lampard is on the wane bench for Chelsea’s home game against Swansea City, the team having played far better without him last weekend at Old Trafford. Fernando Torres, who was the best player on the pitch in that match by some distance, will start too, Didier Drogba getting Frank to budge up in the dugout. Obvious decisions, you’d have thought, but still. 2.05pm: Manchester City are currently being held at home by Everton. It’s not a classic, according to the Guardian’s Tom Lutz, who has got a proper face on because he’s having to sit through it. Right, 2pm it is. No team news as yet, so here’s the draw for the fourth round of the Carling Cup: Wolves v Manchester City Cardiff v Burnley Blackburn v Newcastle Arsenal v Bolton Stoke v Liverpool Aldershot v Manchester United Crystal Palace v Southampton Everton v Chelsea The games kick off at 3pm. But I’ll be here from 2pm with all the HOT TEAM NEWS. In the meantime, why not switch over to Channel 4 and have a game of Bamboozle ? If we had a page 303, this would be on it: Arsenal v Bolton Wanderers Chelsea v Swansea City Liverpool v Wolverhampton Wanderers @ewc£$tle U*)+ed v Bla&*£u*! *over( West Bromwich Albion v Fulham Wigan Athletic v Tottenham Hotspur Good afternoon, folks, and with terrestrial television currently being closed down region by region, chances are some of you won’t be able to access proper Ceefax any more. (Nobody uses the rubbish new digital version, do they?) No more tapping in page 303 to find out the latest Premier League scores, then moving to page 304, where you wait watching a spinning number for ten minutes before realising the First Division scores are on page 305. None of that. It’s over. We’ll have to do. Premier League Championship League One League Two Scott Murray guardian.co.uk

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David Blunkett warns Ed Miliband: Labour won’t win an election like this

Labour leader Ed Miliband is not addressing voters’ ‘everyday struggles’, says former home secretary David Blunkett Ed Miliband has been warned by the former cabinet minister David Blunkett that his political message is not being heard by the voters, and that the Labour party would not win an election if it were held today. Blunkett said Miliband had done well over the phone-hacking scandal, but that this had not improved Labour’s relationship with the electorate “one iota”. Echoing remarks by other senior figures in the party, including the shadow foreign secretary, Douglas Alexander, he called for the leader to focus on explaining to the public what Labour did right in power while providing answers to the big questions, including how the country should deal with the economic crisis. Speaking to the Observer on the eve of the Labour party conference, Blunkett said Labour, which is 4% ahead in the polls, would fail to win a majority in an early election. “I think it would probably be a hung parliament, with Labour having slightly more seats that the Conservatives,” he said. “But we have got to get in a position where we are 10, 12, 15 percentage points ahead, because a combination of facing two parties in coalition and the boundary changes and the disillusionment that austerity bring, it doesn’t bring revolution.” Blunkett, who voted for Andy Burnham – now shadow education secretary – and then David Miliband in the leadership elections last September, has kept his counsel on Ed Miliband’s performance over the last year. But in an intervention likely to cause some discomfort for the Labour leader, Blunkett concurred with Alexander’s admission yesterday that the Tories had so far been more successful in “framing a public language that made more sense of the economic crisis”. And while claiming that Miliband had enjoyed a “good year” and shed the Red Ed image, he said the Labour leader’s task was all the more difficult because of his lack of an established image among the wider public. “I think if you haven’t got a profile and people don’t easily recognise you or what you stand for, you have got a long haul,” Blunkett said. He added that the party had not recovered from the four months when Labour was leaderless after Gordon Brown’s resignation, during which the coalition was able to blame the country’s economic situation on Labour’s policies. He said: “Over the last year I think we have recovered a lot of our confidence, Ed Miliband has had a good 12 months since he was elected, but we never recovered from that interregnum where we really didn’t have anyone in leadership positions defending Labour’s record. “I think the biggest challenge for Ed is not the decisions he has taken, which on the whole I have agreed entirely with and I think he has handled himself personally very well, but actually getting that hearing with the electorate, getting that foothold on the ladder. That is a very difficult challenge. “We can throw stones at paper giants and get angry about where power lives, but it is almost irrelevant to people out here in their own lives. This taking on the media giants is a necessary part of politics, and actually Ed Miliband did extremely well in relation to what happened with News International, because he pushed David Cameron into having to take action which he was reluctant to take. But good and important as it was, and necessary in terms of our values and where we stand, it hasn’t actually changed our opinion polls one iota. “The lesson I learned from that is, yes, we should take on sources of power and we should speak for those who don’t have a voice, that is what we are in business to do, but we should also recognise that unless what we are saying and doing has a direct relationship to people’s everyday struggle, they won’t reward us.” Blunkett said he supports Miliband’s position on the economy, but spoke of his concerns that the Labour leader is being advised on policy by Lord (Maurice) Glasman, an academic who has made a “Blue Labour” case for more conservative policies on certain social and international issues, such as immigration and crime. Blunkett said: “About 80% of it, I don’t have a problem with because it is old-fashioned communitarianism. About 20% is xenophobia and I don’t like it, and it tries to pretend we can resolve these big issues on a local scale and we can’t.” Blunkett, the MP for Sheffield Brightside and Hillsborough, added that, while he believed that it was important for Labour to set out how it would promote more cohesive communities, much of what had been set out as Blue Labour was a distraction from more important issues, such as the economy. “It is a necessary, welcome comfort blanket which, whilst it is a part counterweight to people’s feeling of helplessness and hopelessness, it doesn’t deal with the central issue of how in 2015 onwards we deal with the big sources of power globally.” Miliband had to be seen “absolutely alongside” ordinary people, “physically and in policy terms”, he said, as they paid their mortgages and dealt with changes in the job market. Ed Miliband Labour conference 2011 Labour conference David Blunkett Daniel Boffey guardian.co.uk

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Gergen and Borger Claim it’s ‘Both Sides’ as Republicans Hold Disaster Relief Hostage

Click here to view this media As House Republicans threaten another government shutdown if they don’t get some steep cuts in return for disaster relief and as Democrats look like they’re finally standing up to the hostage taking, what do we get from David Gergen, Gloria Borger and host Anderson Cooper on CNN? More false equivalencies and the “both sides” are playing politics game. For a more honest assessment of what’s going on, here’s more from TPM — CRUNCH TIME: House GOP Jams Senate With Government Funding Bill, Partisan Budget Cuts For Disaster Aid : House Republicans closed ranks just after midnight on Friday morning, and passed legislation to avert a government shutdown at the end of the month. The vote tally was 219-203. But the bill received almost no Democratic support and faces an uncertain future in the U.S. Senate because Republicans have used the funding bill as a vehicle for disaster relief money, and insisted it be paid for by slashing funds for jobs programs Democrats support. Dems say the GOP legislation provides insufficient aid, and sets a dangerous precedent by requiring those funds to be offset with partisan budget cuts. “The bill the House will vote on tonight is not an honest effort at compromise,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) in a statement anticipating its passage. “It fails to provide the relief that our fellow Americans need as they struggle to rebuild their lives in the wake of floods, wildfires and hurricanes, and it will be rejected by the Senate.” A livid Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-IL) told reporters Thursday night “We’re fed up with this…we’re sick of it, we’re tired of it.” Democrats are pushing Republicans to strip the disaster aid provisions from the bill entirely and pass a clean funding bill, and separate, emergency, Senate-passed legislation to provide relief to disaster-stricken regions across the country. At her weekly press conference Thursday, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) pointed to a potential compromise. Read on… UPDATE: It appears that we had some bipartisan objection to the House’s hostage taking in the Senate — Cram It! Senate Dems And Republicans Reject Holding Disaster Aid Hostage . Gergen and Borger’s hackery from CNN last night below the fold. COOPER: More breaking news tonight, and “Keeping Them Honest.” Here we go again on the brink of a possible government shutdown. All that talk of compromise. Well, maybe just that. Talk. The do- nothing Congress could be living up to the nickname tonight once again. We’re waiting for a crucial vote in the House on a bill to fund the government beyond September 30, and even if it passes, it would only fund the government for seven more weeks. And that’s a big if. The vote on the GOP measure failed in the House last night, 230 to 195, 48 Republicans defected, voted against their party’s own measure, and only six Democrats sided with Republicans. Now the failed vote, some say, has proved to why Congress has just 12 percent approval rating in the latest poll conducted by CBS and the “New York Times.” Conservative Republicans voted against the C.R., Continuing Resolution, because they said there weren’t enough spending cuts to offset the $3. 6 billion in disaster relief money. Now you can decide for yourself if you think funds for disaster relief for agencies like FEMA should only be available if they’re offset by spending cuts elsewhere. This country is in some pretty tough strait for sure, but this is the first time ever, ever, that funding for people affected by things like tornadoes, floods, hurricanes, fires, you name it, have been used as a political edge. And right now, that aid is in limbo until this bill gets passed. “Keeping Them Honest,” just last week, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor said he wouldn’t hold up disaster relief. We found this on ThinkProgress.org. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) (CROSSTALK) REP. ERIC CANTOR (R-VA), HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER: No one is holding any money hostage. I also think we can do so responsibly. (END OF VIDEO CLIP) COOPER: He says no one is holding any money hostage. But they are tonight, even though Cantor pointed out his district needs the aid. His district in Virginia was hit by Hurricane Irene and an earthquake last month. House Speaker Boehner seemed caught off guard by last night’s vote. He desperately tried to get his party on board and failed but today at a news conference he dismissed there was any chaos in the ranks and insisted they’re going to reach a deal. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) REP. JOHN BOEHNER (R-OH), SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: The founders gave us a committee which is now 535 individuals. And trying to get 535 people to come to agreement on anything around here is difficult. But that’s — we’ve known that going in. We’ll work our way through this. I have always been confident that we’ll be able to come to an agreement and we will. (END OF VIDEO CLIP) COOPER: That’s Speaker Boehner earlier today. At this hour, again, we’re waiting for a new vote on the measure. It’s expected any moment. We’ll see if Republicans did in fact reach an agreement as Mr. Boehner said they would. Republican sources tell us that House GOP leaders have in fact unveiled a new proposal to offset the cash wanted for disaster relief by cutting roughly $100 million from a government loan program that granted a $535 million loan guarantee to the now bankrupt and highly controversial Solyndra solar company. The question tonight, will this get the bill pass and avoid a government shutdown. Let’s talk about it with CNN political analysts David Gergen and Gloria Borger. David, what do you make of this? When you hear Congressman Cantor and other Republicans say that they’re not playing politics with disaster relief funding, especially as the possibility of a government shutdown looms, do you buy that? GERGEN: Anderson, I think both sides are going to try to make points. Democrats are going to try to do that over in the Senate, Gloria has been reporting on some of that, to the make points off the FEMA thing. But I have to tell you. I do think they’re going to get something passed. I don’t think there’s going to be a government shutdown. The amount of money at issue here is actually modest. But what this has done, it was one of the things, it was a backdrop to the markets going down so much today. The investors looking, and saying, my god, those people in Washington, they haven’t made peace, they can’t even agree on this little tiny — little bit of business. And it is — it is fueling the sense that they’re not going to be able to get a real bargain on — big bargain on the deficits. GLORIA BORGER, CNN CHIEF POLITICAL ANALYST: Right. GERGEN: They may not be able to live up to the agreement they cut on the debt ceiling back in August. BORGER: Well, you know, Anderson, that’s the whole problem. When they cut this deal on the debt ceiling, they said, when we pass a bill to keep the government running, known as a Continuing Resolution, it’s going to be clean. Then you had these disasters, as you pointed out, and the Republicans in the House say we need to pay for those disasters. And I just got off the phone with the Senate Democratic leadership aide who said to me that if the House bill passes tonight, with more offsets, spending cuts for disaster relief, the Senate will reject it. That Senate Democrats will reject it. And what they eventually will do is pass a clean Continuing Resolution to fund the government with FEMA funding separately and deal with that — don’t forget the FEMA money for these — for disaster relief expires early next week. So we will move from one crisis to another crisis. COOPER: Is this the way business is just going to be done now, David? I mean especially between now and the election? Can anything major get done between now and this presidential election? GERGEN: Anderson, one held out hope for that, I think, a few months ago, that they could actually make some real progress, get some more breakthroughs before the election. I think that hope has diminished sharply in the last few weeks. Everybody here has now gotten into campaign mode. And by the way, this is something President Obama foresaw some months ago. He — this is the very reason he wanted to get a bigger deal in August because he thought, as we got closer in, it was going to be hard. But now the White House has gotten into politics, too. I mean everybody is playing the game. And I think that there’s a growing feeling that big breakthroughs are going to have to wait the next administration, the next president, this president, whoever it is. BORGER: And here’s — GERGEN: And the next Congress. BORGER: And here’s what complicates all of this. What really complicates it, you have a Republican primary going on. Don’t forget, those Republican presidential candidates were all out there, most of them, saying, you cannot even pass an extension of the debt ceiling. You have congressional leaders who may — Republicans — who may feel they want to get something done as I think John Boehner felt early on in this process. But they have to try and be on the same page with their presidential candidates. The presidential candidates are appealing to a Republican primary electorate, which is very, very conservative. And so I think gridlock is in the offing because Republicans’ hands are tied by this primary. COOPER: But even — I mean what’s so frustrating about that is that — I mean we’re seeing today the markets reacting in part to this gridlock. BORGER: Of course. COOPER: I mean this is costing people — this is costing people their 401(k)s, this is costing people money. GERGEN: Exactly. BORGER: And it could cost people their disaster relief, by the way, Anderson. COOPER: Right. BORGER: If that doesn’t go through. GERGEN: That’s exactly right, Anderson. A lot of people’s 401(k)s are — you can measure that through the S&P 500. That’s where a lot of the mutual funds are, for example. S&P 500 is down 7 percent over the last two days. And you know so people are losing, not only their housing value but their — now their 401(k) again taking hits. And that’s what’s so frustrating about this. But I have to say, it’s not just that the Republican candidates are tying their people up and asking for loyalty. Look at Norm Dicks, a Democrat, who was going to vote for this Continuing Resolution. He said he publicly was going to vote for it. Very independent, fine congressman, he came under pressure from his caucus on the Democratic side to vote against this Continuing Resolution, to stop things, because, you know, they’re playing their political game, too. BORGER: Absolutely. I mean they’re playing it on both sides. GERGEN: Right. BORGER: Why do you think the Democrats want to separate out the money for FEMA? GERGEN: Right. BORGER: Because then they can say that the Republicans don’t want to fund disaster relief. COOPER: Right. It’s just games, I mean, back and forth. BORGER: Terrible. GERGEN: Just games. BORGER: Yes. COOPER: Yes. David Gergen and Gloria Borger, appreciate it. Thank you.

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Man arrested after firing shots at guard of Pope Benedict guard in Germany

Man fires air gun as pontiff leads mass for 30,000 in Erfurt following meetings with German victims of paedophile priests Pope Benedict XVI has led an outdoor mass in Germany despite shots being fired close to the service. A man fired an air-gun at a guard at the edge of the security zone about an hour before the service in the eastern city of Erfurt, Vatican and local officials said. The pope’s spokesman, the Reverend Federico Lombardi, said there was “no worry” among the papal entourage about the incident, and the pontiff was not informed about it before the mass, which was attended by 30,000 people. Police said the alleged shooter had been arrested and that there were no injuries. The service came after the pope met German victims of paedophile priests in a bid to stem the loss of support for the Catholic Church in the country. Last night he met two women and three men from parishes across the country, who were among the abused. The Vatican said the pope expressed “deep compassion and regret” at the suffering of those who were abused and assured them that the Catholic Church is seeking “effective measures to protect children”. Victims have accused the pope of being part of a systematic cover-up by the church hierarchy for paedophile priests in his earlier roles as an archbishop in Germany, and later when he headed the Vatican morals office. Survivors’ groups were quick to denounce the pope’s meeting with victims as an empty gesture. They maintain the Catholic Church has not done enough to prosecute offending priests and prevent future abuse. Following the mass in Erfurt, the pontiff departed for the south-western city of Freiburg, the final stop of his four-day visit. Pope Benedict XVI Germany Religion Europe guardian.co.uk

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Man arrested after firing shots at guard of Pope Benedict guard in Germany

Man fires air gun as pontiff leads mass for 30,000 in Erfurt following meetings with German victims of paedophile priests Pope Benedict XVI has led an outdoor mass in Germany despite shots being fired close to the service. A man fired an air-gun at a guard at the edge of the security zone about an hour before the service in the eastern city of Erfurt, Vatican and local officials said. The pope’s spokesman, the Reverend Federico Lombardi, said there was “no worry” among the papal entourage about the incident, and the pontiff was not informed about it before the mass, which was attended by 30,000 people. Police said the alleged shooter had been arrested and that there were no injuries. The service came after the pope met German victims of paedophile priests in a bid to stem the loss of support for the Catholic Church in the country. Last night he met two women and three men from parishes across the country, who were among the abused. The Vatican said the pope expressed “deep compassion and regret” at the suffering of those who were abused and assured them that the Catholic Church is seeking “effective measures to protect children”. Victims have accused the pope of being part of a systematic cover-up by the church hierarchy for paedophile priests in his earlier roles as an archbishop in Germany, and later when he headed the Vatican morals office. Survivors’ groups were quick to denounce the pope’s meeting with victims as an empty gesture. They maintain the Catholic Church has not done enough to prosecute offending priests and prevent future abuse. Following the mass in Erfurt, the pontiff departed for the south-western city of Freiburg, the final stop of his four-day visit. Pope Benedict XVI Germany Religion Europe guardian.co.uk

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Bozell Column: Charlie Sheen Roasts and Boasts

It’s easy to get nostalgic for those classic Dean Martin TV celebrity roasts. Just watch a Comedy Central Friars Club roast. This is not comedy; they are unremittingly vicious. When they announced they were going to roast Charlie Sheen, a disgraceful human being if ever there was one, there was a sense of karmic comeuppance. Then the show aired. Only someone as deranged as Sheen would find it funny. Sheen is deserving of plenty of verbal head-slaps for his aerobically amoral life with prostitutes, his wife-beating/strangling, and his bizarre behavior after being fired by the gutter-level CBS comedy “Two and a Half Men.” But this was supposed to be comedic. Instead, it was a merciless bonfire of ferocity. No humanity remained. The host of this hatefest was appropriate: Seth MacFarlane, who’s done so much to pollute the airwaves on Sunday night with his tasteless, puerile cartoons on Fox. He noted “Two and a Half Men” would air a mock funeral for Sheen’s character on the season debut of the sitcom – and Comedy Central timed its roast to compete with that show. McFarlane said “No need to switch over. You can just wait a couple months and see the real thing.” He then started to read the personal obituary he’d written for Sheen, saying the actor was found dead in his apartment, then stopped: “I just kinda just copied Amy Winehouse's obituary,” adding “I only had to change three things: the sex of the deceased, the location of the body, and the part that says ‘a talent that will be missed.'” In case the early death of drug-addled Winehouse in late July wasn’t enough grist for giggles, the fameless “comedienne” known as Amy Schumer made fun of the June drunk-driving car-crash death of MTV reality star Ryan Dunn. Turning to Dunn’s friend and fellow MTV star “Steve-O,” Schumer cracked, “When Ryan Dunn died, Steve-O probably was thinking it could’ve been him — with the rest of the world wondering why it wasn’t.” This wasn’t Don Rickles “we kid because we love” stuff. This was acidulous “wish you were dead, not really kidding” material. But don’t feel bad for Steve-O. When it was his turn, he mocked the low-voltage star power of his fellow roasters by joking, “The last time this many nobodies got roasted, at least the band Great White was playing.” That refers to the 2003 nightmare at a Rhode Island nightclub when a a spray of sparks from the band’s pyrotechnics crew ignited foam soundproofing material in the ceiling. Killing 100 people. While we’re speaking of obscure jokers who will say anything to get noticed, there’s Anthony Jeselnik, who used to write jokes for Jimmy Fallon’s NBC late-night show. “The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox,” Jeselnik sneered, since Sheen replaced Fox on ABC’s “Spin City” after Fox’s symptoms from Parkinson’s disease grew too severe. Jeselnik also joked “You’ve convinced more women to get abortions than the prenatal test for Down syndrome.” There’s a knee-slapper. He was on a roll with dead-kid jokes. “You dropped out of school faster than Casey Anthony's kid.” (For anyone who doesn’t get that, Caylee Anthony was murdered at age two.) Jeselnik isn’t tasteless just on TV. Check out what he put on his Twitter page on the tenth anniversary of 9/11: “Today is the 10th anniversary of my first 9/11 joke.” Comedy Central spared no one’s taste to produce this shindig, adding to the panel of roasters former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson. So when actress Kate Walsh joked that Sheen was the only one who pulls a knife on a woman already willing to have sex, Tyson, also a convicted rapist, yelled “I’ll drink to that!” For his part, Tyson tried poetry: “This wife-beating cokehead who claims he’s a rock star from Mars / If he were black, he’d be behind bars.” William Shatner was also on hand, fresh from the failure of the CBS sitcom “[Feces] My Dad Said.” Since the taboo of religion needed to be shredded, Shatner joked about Jesus:

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Manchester City v Everton | Tom Lutz

• Peruse the latest tables and stats here • All today’s latest scores can be found here • Email tom.lutz@guardian.co.uk with your thoughts 7 min: Everton are looking very peppy indeed today. Baines tries a shot from distance but it doesn’t remotely threaten Hart’s goal. City have barely left their own half. 5 min: Baines lines up a free-kick on the left of the box. Osman attempts to turn and shoot. He does both but not in sequence and the ball drifts off in the wrong direction. 3 min: Everton stroke it around their own half, waiting patiently for their 2-1 victory. I did the rugby minute-by-minute at 7am and this is a delight in contrast, you don’t need to figure out why something’s a foul: none of this going in the side of the ruck nonsense. If it’s a free-kick it’s because someone has crunched someone else in the shins. 1 min: We’re off, Manchester City kick-off. “Surely a Scotsman like Davie Moyes could take most gun-toters with a mere knife (although I’m Scottish, so I would say that),” says Ryan Dunne. “Frankly I’m slightly disappointed that my fellow Glasgweigan even feels the need to have recourse towards a metaphorical blade, when a swift headbutt and boot-to-the-baws would usually suffice (er, one would imagine).” Baws is a Scottish word for elbow in case you were wondering. 12.41pm: Jamie Redknapp “literally” watch : “David Silva literally floats around the pitch”. The hovercraft-footed cheat. 12.38pm: David Moyes is interviewed pre-match, we don’t see what he’s holding so there may well be a knife in his hands. 12.35pm: “I like those 8-1 odds,” says Gary Naylor. “It’s not that I think Everton will win – City will beat better sides than ours this season – but expectations have been set so low at Goodison and so many players are young and / or largely unknown in English football, that there’s a kind of fearlessness abroad that produces goals at either end (ignore all that stuff about playing with one or none up front: formations don’t score goals, players do). Moyes’s men may cop a few 4-0s this season, but we might turn over one or two big boys when they’re least expecting it.” So 4-0 to City it is then. 12.25pm: David Moyes is upbeat today: “[Playing rich clubs like Manchester City] is like going into a gun fight when I’ve got a knife, so I have to find a way of using that right.” Hope you’ve got a good lawyer, David. 12.20pm: Your teams for today: Manchester City: Hart, Richards, Kompany, Lescott, Clichy, Nasri, Barry, Toure Yaya, Silva, Dzeko, Aguero. Subs: Pantilimon, Zabaleta, Milner, Kolarov, Savic, Tevez, Balotelli. Everton: Howard, Hibbert, Jagielka, Distin, Baines, Neville, Fellaini, Rodwell, Osman, Coleman, Cahill. Subs: Mucha, Heitinga, Bilyaletdinov, Saha, Drenthe, Stracqualursi, Vellios. Referee: Howard Webb (S Yorkshire) Preamble: Everton are 8-1 to win this match, while Manchester City can afford to swap half of their line-up from the midweek win against Birmingham City – Owen Hargreaves, in particular won’t be risked two matches in a row – and are riding high in the Premier League. And yet, Everton have a pretty good record against City over the last few seasons. Everton beat Manchester City 2-1 in both matches last season and Tim Cahill has scored in the last three fixtures he has started against Roberto Mancini’s side. That said City will win 3-0. Match pointers • Sergio Agüero’s run of eight goals in his first five Premier League games equals the record set by Micky Quinn for Coventry • Everton have won seven of their last eight Premier League games with Man City, and all four of their games at the Etihad Stadium • David Silva has created more scoring chances from open play (18) than any other top-flight player • Tim Cahill has scored in his last three games against City in Manchester • Yaya Touré scored in both Premier League meetings with Everton last season Premier League Manchester City Everton Tom Lutz guardian.co.uk

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Manchester City v Everton | Tom Lutz

• Peruse the latest tables and stats here • All today’s latest scores can be found here • Email tom.lutz@guardian.co.uk with your thoughts 7 min: Everton are looking very peppy indeed today. Baines tries a shot from distance but it doesn’t remotely threaten Hart’s goal. City have barely left their own half. 5 min: Baines lines up a free-kick on the left of the box. Osman attempts to turn and shoot. He does both but not in sequence and the ball drifts off in the wrong direction. 3 min: Everton stroke it around their own half, waiting patiently for their 2-1 victory. I did the rugby minute-by-minute at 7am and this is a delight in contrast, you don’t need to figure out why something’s a foul: none of this going in the side of the ruck nonsense. If it’s a free-kick it’s because someone has crunched someone else in the shins. 1 min: We’re off, Manchester City kick-off. “Surely a Scotsman like Davie Moyes could take most gun-toters with a mere knife (although I’m Scottish, so I would say that),” says Ryan Dunne. “Frankly I’m slightly disappointed that my fellow Glasgweigan even feels the need to have recourse towards a metaphorical blade, when a swift headbutt and boot-to-the-baws would usually suffice (er, one would imagine).” Baws is a Scottish word for elbow in case you were wondering. 12.41pm: Jamie Redknapp “literally” watch : “David Silva literally floats around the pitch”. The hovercraft-footed cheat. 12.38pm: David Moyes is interviewed pre-match, we don’t see what he’s holding so there may well be a knife in his hands. 12.35pm: “I like those 8-1 odds,” says Gary Naylor. “It’s not that I think Everton will win – City will beat better sides than ours this season – but expectations have been set so low at Goodison and so many players are young and / or largely unknown in English football, that there’s a kind of fearlessness abroad that produces goals at either end (ignore all that stuff about playing with one or none up front: formations don’t score goals, players do). Moyes’s men may cop a few 4-0s this season, but we might turn over one or two big boys when they’re least expecting it.” So 4-0 to City it is then. 12.25pm: David Moyes is upbeat today: “[Playing rich clubs like Manchester City] is like going into a gun fight when I’ve got a knife, so I have to find a way of using that right.” Hope you’ve got a good lawyer, David. 12.20pm: Your teams for today: Manchester City: Hart, Richards, Kompany, Lescott, Clichy, Nasri, Barry, Toure Yaya, Silva, Dzeko, Aguero. Subs: Pantilimon, Zabaleta, Milner, Kolarov, Savic, Tevez, Balotelli. Everton: Howard, Hibbert, Jagielka, Distin, Baines, Neville, Fellaini, Rodwell, Osman, Coleman, Cahill. Subs: Mucha, Heitinga, Bilyaletdinov, Saha, Drenthe, Stracqualursi, Vellios. Referee: Howard Webb (S Yorkshire) Preamble: Everton are 8-1 to win this match, while Manchester City can afford to swap half of their line-up from the midweek win against Birmingham City – Owen Hargreaves, in particular won’t be risked two matches in a row – and are riding high in the Premier League. And yet, Everton have a pretty good record against City over the last few seasons. Everton beat Manchester City 2-1 in both matches last season and Tim Cahill has scored in the last three fixtures he has started against Roberto Mancini’s side. That said City will win 3-0. Match pointers • Sergio Agüero’s run of eight goals in his first five Premier League games equals the record set by Micky Quinn for Coventry • Everton have won seven of their last eight Premier League games with Man City, and all four of their games at the Etihad Stadium • David Silva has created more scoring chances from open play (18) than any other top-flight player • Tim Cahill has scored in his last three games against City in Manchester • Yaya Touré scored in both Premier League meetings with Everton last season Premier League Manchester City Everton Tom Lutz guardian.co.uk

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Amanda Knox prosecutors pour scorn on forensic experts

Italian state attorneys attack professors who criticised evidence used to sentence student to 26 years for murder Seeking to uphold Amanda Knox’s conviction for murder, prosecuters on Saturday mounted an all-out attack on the independent, court-appointed experts who have poured scorn on the forensic evidence used to sentence her to 26 years in jail. Manuela Comodi, the third and last prosecutor to address the court hearing Knox’s appeal, noted the experts were both professors of forensic science, rather than practising investigators. And she asked the jury of five women and one man: “Would you entrust the wedding reception of your only daughter to someone who knew all the recipes by heart but had never actually cooked?” According to her relatives, the experts’ damning report, submitted in June, has given the University of Washington student new hope, making her cautiously optimistic she will be freed by the court later this month or early next. She has been joined in her appeal by her former Italian boyfriend, Raffaele Sollecito, who was given a 25-year sentence. But, said Comodi, the experts had put up an “embarrassing performance”. She told the two judges and the jurors (technically, lay judges) that the two Rome University professors had been given an assignment “that they did not know how to fulfil, betraying your trust”. A third man, Rudy Guede, whose presence at the scene of the murder was only discovered after their arrest, has also been convicted of murdering 21 year-old Kercher in 2007. The prosecution maintains that Guede, a small-time drug dealer from the Ivory Coast, joined the others in a frenzied, narcotics-fuelled sex game that ended in tragedy after the British woman resisted. The clinching evidence at the trial of Knox and Sollecito included a trace of his DNA on Kercher’s bra clip and a knife, which the prosecution claimed was the murder weapon, bearing the DNA of both the defendants and their alleged victim. The experts found that Sollecito’s DNA could have reached the bra clip, which was only identified and bagged 46 days after the discovery of the body, by a process of contamination. They said the third trace of DNA on the knife, which was in Sollecito’s kitchen, was too faint to be ascribed confidently to Kercher. But, said Comodi, the original analysis had been carried out by police forensic experts whose competence was internationally recognised. And the defence had failed totally to show how the contamination of the bra clip might have occurred. Amanda Knox Meredith Kercher United States Italy Europe John Hooper guardian.co.uk

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UBS chief Oswald Grübel resigns over alleged rogue trader affair

CEO quits Swiss bank over £1.5bn losses allegedly due to unauthorised trading by Kweku Adoboli in London The chief executive of the embattled Swiss bank UBS, Oswald Grübel, has quit after the bank lost an estimated $2.3bn (£1.5bn) in the alleged rogue trading scandal. Sergio Ermotti, the bank’s head of Europe, Middle East and Africa, will take over as CEO for now. The bank said it had accepted Grübel’s resignation and paid “testimony to his uncompromising principles and integrity”. The board said in a statement it had asked management to accelerate an overhaul of the investment bank already under way “concentrating on advisory, capital markets, and client flow and solutions businesses”. UBS’s board meeting, one of four regular meetings per year, had originally been due to end on Friday ahead of the UBS-sponsored Singapore Formula One Grand Prix on Sunday, when executives will be trying to reassure big clients. But deliberations continued by conference call after the board left Singapore, with some members heading back to Switzerland. The 67-year-old German, brought out of retirement to try to salvage UBS in 2009, refused to comment to reporters as he left the lengthy meeting which had been scheduled to finish on the Friday. An AFP reporter on the scene said Grübel made no response when asked, “Were you fired?” and, “Did you lose your job?” He came under heavy fire over alleged unauthorised trading by Kweku Adoboli, the 31-year-old charged with fraud and false accounting at UBS. Adoboli has been remanded in custody and has not entered a plea to the four charges. UBS Banking European banks Kweku Adoboli Crime Jill Treanor guardian.co.uk

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