As a divorce attorney and a past serial dater, I have had the unique opportunity to view every facet of relationships between men and women from beginning to end. Like most men and women, I have entered relationships with the utmost optimism only to experience it fall apart along the way. Every day I encounter the end of marriages. In my last article, I touched on infidelity as a major cause of divorce. As a woman with many single girlfriends, I have continuously shared the excitement when a friend met a new and interesting man only to learn later in the relationship that her new lover had lied about his single status. Often, women get caught up in the hot romance of a new relationship. If a married man who preys on unsuspecting single women is an expert in this despised behavior, it will take more time for the woman to catch on to the game he is playing. Many of my clients learned of their husband’s infidelity when they received a call from the “other woman” after she found out her boyfriend was married. Please note that although my practice is not gender-specific, I find that single men are not nearly as offended if they find out that their new lover is married. From professional and personal experience, men enjoy relationships with no attachment more than women. In many instances, a female client often gets dumped by her lover once her lover realizes that she wants to get divorced in order to be with him. Single ladies, take heed. Following are ten signs the new man in your life may be married. RED FLAG #10: When you go on a date with him he pays for everything in cash. Paying for dinners, trips, and lingerie in cash is a way a married man may avoid the wife who inspects his receipts or the wife who writes checks for the bills each month. In our electronic society, most people no longer carry around cash, so if your new boyfriend always pays in cash beware especially if any of the signs listed below also apply to your situation. RED FLAG #9: He only has time to be with you during a four-hour window after he gets off work. If your new man habitually places severe restrictions on the times and places he can see you, either he is dating someone else or he is married. A nice guy who is really interested in getting to know you will not have to be home by 10:00 pm for that important business meeting in the morning. RED FLAG #8: His occupation is a “traveling businessman”. Some traveling businessmen may want to have their “cake and eat it too” (suffice it to say that most single women are familiar with this dreaded expression). It is very easy for a married man who travels constantly with his work to lead a secret life. While I reiterate that not all traveling businessmen cheat on their wives, this particular lifestyle is very attractive to the man who flies passenger jets for a living or to the man who sells the very best of German engineering parts on three different continents. It usually takes an unsuspecting woman months to find out that the traveling businessman with whom she has fallen in love is actually married. RED FLAG #7: He never invites you over to his home and insists that you only spend time together at your residence. The reason he doesn’t want you to come to his house is either because his home looks like he lives in a college dorm or because he is married. RED FLAG #6: He receives calls from his cell phone that he will not answer in front of you. Secrecy is paramount to the man who is married but yet presents himself as being single. If your new lover routinely behaves this way in front of you, either he works in espionage or he is married. RED FLAG #5: When you call his cell number you always get voice mail, and then he returns the call some time later. The age of cellular technology is all too convenient for married men posing as singles. He can be at home with his wife and then go out to his car to return your call moments later. RED FLAG #4: He never introduces you to his children, friends or family. If this sign is evident, either your boyfriend does not view you as serious dating material or he is most certainly probably married. RED FLAG #3: He says he has filed for divorce, but you cannot find an open civil case in any county within a one-hundred mile radius. This sign is the only sign on my list that arises after a woman suspects her new boyfriend might be married. It usually begins with the woman having a talk with her new man and questioning him about her suspicions. He replies that while he is technically married he is separated from his wife and has filed for divorce. He then explains that he was afraid that she would not have gone on a date with him if she knew he was still legally married. She searches online and spends an entire day making phone calls to every superior court in the area. However, there is no open civil case listing her new lover as a plaintiff or a defendant anywhere. RED FLAG #2: You get a call from his wife while you are at work asking you why your number appears in his call log so often. When a wife finds out her husband has been cheating, she cannot resist the emotional temptation to confront the “other woman”. If this happens to you, all you can do is comfort her and assure her that you did not know the new man in your life was actually married to her. Then, I recommend you make one very important phone call afterwards. RED FLAG #1: You come home to find that his entire wardrobe has been dumped in your driveway. No explanation necessary.
Continue reading …A Mexico-size chunk of the Pacific will soon be a haven for sharks—and they have a tiny island nation to thank. The Marshall Islands’ government is declaring its waters off-limits to commercial shark fishing and the trade of shark products, the BBC reports, providing the creatures with 750,000…
Continue reading …coffeemksitbetr says: PSP: Martha Stewart’s daughter writing tell – all – http://t.co/1kz0jNz6
Continue reading …An openly lesbian PM, affordable childcare and a formidable women’s movement – Iceland may just be a feminist paradise On a wet day in Reykjavik, the rain battering the fishing boats, the tourist shops and the young male artists with their improbable moustaches, Iceland’s minister of industry, energy and tourism is explaining to me that the country needs to be “more badass” about the gender pay gap. The minister is Katrin Juliusdottir , a warm, attractive woman in her mid-30s, pregnant with twins. As she speaks, a hint of frustration enters her voice. Icelandic legislation supposedly guarantees equal pay for equal work, as in the UK ,
Continue reading …Nearly 2,000 teachers responded to a Guardian Teacher Network survey asking how they feel about their jobs. Many wrote: ‘I love teaching but…’ Disrespected, often bullied, fed up with governments that don’t trust them and despairing of the decline in parenting skills, you’d think teachers would be scouring the jobs columns for other careers, but, according to the Guardian Teacher Network survey published today, the reason they aren’t in larger numbers is because so many of them still love teaching. If there is a single message that sings out loud and clear, it is a plea from teachers to be treated as professionals, rather than infantilised by short-termist governments and political philosophies. Teachers who have come from other professions wonder openly about the lack of trust in their professionalism. One former solicitor, now questioning the sense of the career switch, said: “There is a profound lack of respect by senior staff and parents for the quality of work and quantity of work undertaken by teachers. “I have never before worked in a place where I have not been treated as a professional. My every move is monitored. I am not trusted to do the job I have trained and gained qualifications to do. It has had a great impact on my confidence to do the job. As a solicitor I was trusted to do my job once I had the qualifications and experience, why is this not the case in teaching?” Nearly 2,000 teachers – most of them members of the growing Guardian Teacher Network – filled in the survey during late August and September. There was a free text box at the end for extra comments and it was here that teachers, like that former solicitor, poured out eloquent testimony of what it feels like to be a teacher in the UK today. In the first five hours after the survey went live, 600 forms were returned, many with very detailed comments. Time and time again, they began: “I love teaching but …” or “This is the best job in the world but …” And they were big buts – government targets and interference, senior managers who bullied colleagues to achieve those targets, Michael Gove and Conservative party policy, league tables, Ofsted, bureaucracy, unsupportive parents, declining parenting skills, deteriorating student behaviour, disappearing pensions and lack of respect. There are relatively few references to wanting more money for the long hours teachers work – a third cited working weeks in excess of 50 hours – more often there is a straightforward recognition that they have a vocation to teach and they came into teaching because of that drive. The despairing voices are there – those who can’t wait to retire (“Three years to go and counting…”) and those who yearn to get away (“I am an NQT. I’m already looking forward to a way out”) – but they are not the loudest. Most simply feel frustrated that they are not trusted to do their job. Cary Cooper, professor of organisational psychology at Lancaster University, who has done major studies on workplace stress, is not surprised by the findings. “Global evidence is clear – lack of control and autonomy in your job makes you ill. It is stressful to be in an occupation where you feel you have people looking over your shoulder and where you can be named and shamed. All those characteristics were there in teaching 10 years ago, but it is worse now because jobs in the public sector are no longer secure. “Teachers want autonomy and respect – the people who go into it have a real vocation; they don’t do it for the money.We should train all our headteachers in engaging their staff in the decisions that affect their jobs, and the government needs to stop dictating top-down to teachers and instead discuss ideas with teachers. It should then undertake systematic pilots of ideas, which are evaluated. It needs to start treating teachers as professionals.” So, to some of the key statistics. Around 85% of respondents felt teachers had less respect from society in the UK than in some other countries. Just over half of the sample had considered leaving teaching and of these, 62% quote excessive government interference in schools as the reason; 50% blamed student behaviour; 44% workload or exhaustion; 30% parent behaviour; 25% lack of career prospects and just 22% had considered leaving for a job where they could earn more money. A massive 90% complained of teacher bullying – nearly two-thirds cited bullying from senior management, just over half cited parents as the aggressors, 40% students and 35% colleagues. Around 60% of the teachers said that student behaviour had become worse during their teaching career, with teachers outside London more likely to say it. And the theories offered for the decline in student behaviour? Teachers point a sharp finger at the shape of British society. 81% blamed a decline in the nuclear family and 75% the growing influence of dubious and negative role models for young people. Just under half felt parents had become less supportive of teachers during their time in the profession, with teachers in the south-west of England and in Scotland most likely to say it. Asked why they felt they had less parental support, 79% of this part of the sample pointed at declining parenting skills; 65% said parents’ perceived value of education had diminished; 59% said that long hours at work had affected the time parents spent with their children. A picture of some senior management as unsure of their rights, or not wanting to get into trouble, also emerged, with 68% blaming worsening student behaviour on lack of support in imposing discipline from senior staff. But care for their students shines through, with appeals for more vocational opportunities and concerns that some students are put on courses that will meet school targets rather than their individual needs. Only 10% in the survey wanted to see GCSEs abolished, but 65% wanted to see an end to Sats. Just 22% thought their career prospects were good. Only 14% wanted to be headteachers (“Many are very reluctant to aspire to headteacher posts because too much is now expected”) and 44% had considered teaching abroad. A DfE spokesman said: “We’re making teachers’ lives easier and stopping breathing down their necks – by slashing bureaucracy and thousands of pages of statutory guidance; we’re giving them greater freedom over the curriculum; and transforming the quality of career development training. Good schools know best – not politicians or bureaucrats.” Casestudy Daniel Hartley has been teaching for three years. He studied for his PGCE in secondary history at the University of Exeter and is head of history and religious studies at Chulmleigh community college in Devon “There is so much that frustrates many teachers. It feels as if we face a constant tide of change, forced on us from above.New governments always feel they have to put their own stamp on education – for me this means that while we wait for the new curriculum to come out in 2014, I am wary even of spending cash on text books – there is no certainty. Everything seems to change at a rate of about 200mph so it is a constant struggle to keep up with new initiatives, which are often just regurgitated old ones with a sexy new name. My school is pretty good so I don’t suffer with many of the problems that I know other teachers do. What I find annoying is that the government and others don’t take into account the hours of paperwork, the re-jigging of schemes of work, professional development sessions and effort that go into reacting to these changes … that then suddenly are made worthless by a white paper. It can be totally exhausting. I also find alarming the focus on league tables and targets. For my GCSE students we use a computer program to predict grades. This takes no account of social problems the students might face and so can often spit out a grade that might not be achievable. For example, if you have a student who just doesn’t turn up, you still have to give him/her a grade and when they don’t achieve that, the quality of your teaching is scrutinised. It is tough on them, too, to be given expectations they can’t meet. You still can’t help but look at your targets sometimes after the exams and question if you still have the ability to teach. That constant feeling that you have to defend yourself can be demoralising. Teachers can feel totally undervalued and even bullied when targets aren’t met. I feel we’re missing a trick. Surely if we support colleagues rather than berate them, and focus on delivering engaging lessons, we will have a much happier staff whose love of what they do will rub off on the pupils. I feel sad that many teachers are now, more than ever before, expected to be social workers, parents and teachers all rolled into one as there is a lack of parental support. Children are hoofed into schools and we have to do the groundwork of teaching them manners and how to behave properly. Surely the school should just be one link in the chain? Parents, teachers and society at large all have a role to play in producing rounded, responsible members of society.” • For more details or to join the Guardian Teacher Network, see http://teachers.guardian.co.uk/ Wendy Berliner is head of the Guardian Teacher Network Teaching Teachers’ workload Education policy Schools Wendy Berliner guardian.co.uk
Continue reading …Selected app developers who impressed RIM with their source code struttin’ have been rewarded with access to the closed beta of the PlayBook’s native SDK. The kit includes the Mac-compatible QNX Momentics Tool Suite, updated APIs and samples as well as support for Adobe AIR extensions. We know there aren’t millions of PlayBook users out there, but we also know a platform doesn’t have to win gold to make gold . [Thanks, Ferganer] BlackBerry PlayBook native SDK opened to devs, time to get rich? originally appeared on Engadget on Mon, 03 Oct 2011 08:26:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds . Permalink
Continue reading …Giving you a new opportunity to tell your favorite carrier exactly where it can stick that nasty two-year agreement, the unlocked Sony Ericsson Xperia Ray has made its official debut in the United States. In partnership with NewEgg, the handset carries an MSRP of $425 (although it currently sells for $380), where shoppers may choose between gold, black, white and pink varieties. As carrier compatibility goes, the phone features quad-band GSM support, along with 3G capability over the 2100 / 1900 / 850MHz airwaves, which makes it best suited for AT&T in the US, or Bell, Rogers and Telus up north. The Xperia Ray packs an MSM8255 SoC — which features a 1GHz CPU and an Adreno 205 GPU — along with a 3.3-inch FWVGA display and Android 2.3. Of particular note, it also sports an 8.1 megapixel lens with an Exmor R sensor that’s well-suited for low-light situations, along with an LED flash and the ability to record video at 720p. So, if you’re mad as hell at two-year ordeals, here’s a reason to not take it anymore. Howard Beale would be so very proud. Xperia Ray makes US debut, goes unlocked for $425 originally appeared on Engadget on Mon, 03 Oct 2011 08:49:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds . Permalink
Continue reading …From one messe to the next. We’re on the ground at Japan’s Makuhari Messe for CEATEC, on the hunt for robots, green tech, 3D, smartphones and a boatload of prototypes from every product category. The big news this week is obviously that mysterious smartphone we’re expecting to see in Cupertino on Tuesday, but CEATEC is the highlight here in Tokyo, providing Japanese companies with an opportunity to shine on home soil, and giving us a sneak peek at what we can expect in the months and even years to come. We’ll be bringing you hands-ons throughout the week, so use this link to stay on top of everything CEATEC. Gallery: We’re live from CEATEC 2011! We’re live from CEATEC 2011! originally appeared on Engadget on Mon, 03 Oct 2011 09:11:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds . Permalink
Continue reading …Apple pulled a fast one by leaving the iPhone 5 in its back pocket during WWDC , and little did we know that it’d be Tim Cook — not Steve Jobs — revealing the company’s next-gen handset. ‘Course, Tim already had a bit of experience by doing the honors alongside Lowell McAdam for the Verizon iPhone 4 , but this is another beast entirely. Will the ” Let’s Talk iPhone ” keynote bring about a cheaper, perhaps prepaid iPhone 4s ? Will Sprint finally get an iPhone to call its own? Will the iPhone 5 read our minds? Will this change everything, despite everything already being changed? Bookmark this page here and return at the times below for our blow-by-blow coverage live from Cupertino! Psst… and toss your own time zone / day in comments below! 07:00AM – Hawaii 10:00AM – Pacific 11:00AM – Mountain 12:00PM – Central 01:00PM – Eastern 06:00PM – London 07:00PM – Paris 09:00PM – Moscow 02:00AM – Tokyo (October 5th) Apple’s ‘Let’s Talk iPhone’ event is tomorrow — get your liveblog right here! originally appeared on Engadget on Mon, 03 Oct 2011 10:00:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds . Permalink
Continue reading …Just in time for the return of everyone’s favorite serial killer, Showtime Anytime soft-launched recently, bringing online access to the network’s library of movies, TV shows and more. Multichannel News reports AT&T U-verse subscribers are the first to gain access, although this same content has already been streaming on Comcast’s Xfinity TV website and app . It’s no HBO Go yet — more cable companies and a few mobile apps will be necessary to match its rival there — but the approach is the same, after pulling its shows from Netflix this TV Everywhere offering hopes to add enough value to keep viewers on the traditional pay-TV train a little longer. While there’s no self-branded streaming app yet, the channel has also launched a Showtime Social iPad app to keep viewers tied in with their friends and other viewers while they watch — let us know if it makes Dexter any more / less creepy. Showtime launches Anytime streaming portal, social iPad app originally appeared on Engadget on Mon, 03 Oct 2011 10:21:00 EDT. Please see our terms for use of feeds . Permalink
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