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Mom’s House, Dad’s House — When Going Back and Forth Doesn’t Work for Going Back to School

It’s that time of year again, back to school. Like most families, we get ready for a new school year purchasing school supplies, shopping for school clothes, and getting in that last trip to the beach or pool so we can officially say goodbye to summer. But, in our blended family household of yours, mine and ours, this year back-to-school takes on a new meaning, since this year, we are changing our custody arrangement. Let me explain. My husband and I have been married 8 years and together for 10. He came to our marriage with two girls, ages 7 and 5. I married my husband when my son from my previous marriage was only 4. We added another child when we had our son, now 7 years-old. Throughout our marriage, we have shared 50/50 physical custody of the kids with our former spouses. Our arrangement has changed with time and as the kids’ needs have changed. When my husband and I first married and the kids were very young, we split the week in half, with the kids living with us on Mondays and Tuesdays and every other weekend. Later, as they grew, and became more involved with their friends and activities in our neighborhood, they asked for longer periods of time in each house. So, we changed the arrangements, and the kids have been living with us for a complete week and then go to their other parents the following week. I know that most families don’t have to deal with sending their kids away for a week at a time, and honestly, I hate that I miss out on so much of my son’s life. I talk to him everyday on the phone. Last year I hired a nanny to pick up my son everyday after school and bring him to our house, where his father then picked him up and would take him to his house, on his custody weeks. This meant I was able to see my son everyday, even on those weeks he is with his dad. It’s not perfect, but one of the things I have had to learn about being in a blended family is that you have to compromise and make the best of what you have. Besides, to be fair, I can’t really complain. While I certainly didn’t plan on ending up divorced with shared custody, my ex-husband and I were the adults in the household and we were the ones with the power to decide to stay married or not. It was not an easy decision, but during the final months of my former marriage it became certain to me that divorce was the only healthy decision I could make. So, here we are, making the best of it, and our kids are trying their best to keep up with the back and forth every week. They really do have two houses, with one set of “stuff” at Mom’s house, and another set of “stuff” at Dad’s house. Each week, they return, lugging their school backpacks, favorite clothes, scout uniforms, and sports gear, and settle into their bedrooms in our house. Since the kids have become teenagers with their own fashion sense, and a social life, they have opinions about their clothes, and which outfits they want to wear to see their friends. As of recently it takes several trips to the car to unload the multiple bags of stuff that the kids bring home. I feel badly for them, dragging all their belongings from house to house, especially for my step-daughters, who can’t seem to unpack the entire week they are with us. Their rooms are never completely tidy anyway, after all they are teens — their rooms usually have dirty laundry on the floor, half-used soda cans, and a bed that never gets made — but when they add their opened suitcases with clothes overflowing, it’s chaos. So, I wasn’t really surprised when the week before she was supposed to start her junior year in high school, my step-daughter asked me and her father if she could live with us full-time. She has done this before, but usually it’s in the heat of passion or frustration that comes when a teenage daughter clashes with her mother. This time, my step-daughter asked in a very reasoned tone, laying out her argument and stating her points like the daughter of a lawyer, and the debate team star that she is. She told us that this school year is very important to her, that she wanted to do well in school, that she wanted to stay organized and she wanted to feel — well — settled. Who could blame her? I looked around her room and saw the two suitcases filled with school uniforms, favorite clothes, and the book bags filled with notebooks, text books and school supplies. Who would want to cart all of this around from house to house, one week after the next? Her dad and I talked. We both knew we could not refuse her request. But how would her mother feel? Luckily, her mother agreed that it would be best for her. So, for the first time in 8 years she will live in one house. She will still see her mom on alternating weekends, but hopefully that won’t mean she has to take more than one bag with her at a time. She finished her first week of school this week and seems calm. She didn’t have to worry about packing up her suitcases in time for the weekend with her mom. Her books stayed on her desk, her school uniforms hung in the closet. Now, if I could just get her to pick up her dirty laundry from the floor

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Ohio Fights Back Against Voter ID Laws

enlarge That image is a pretty graphic representation of the right-wing’s successful voter suppression efforts , thanks to ALEC and a lot of reactionary state legislatures. But in Ohio, they’re mad as hell and not taking it anymore. Via the ACLU: Luckily, Ohio may offer a glimmer of hope for those of us fighting to safeguard voting rights. Voters around the Buckeye State are taking to the streets, circulating petitions that would allow a referendum to be held on Ohio House Bill 194 , a bill passed in June 2011 that would severely limit voters’ access to the ballot box by limiting early voting, prohibiting poll workers from assisting voters completing election forms and ballots, and making it more difficult for local boards of elections to promote early voting to all registered voters. Ohio is the same state that gathered 900,000 signatures to repeal SB 5 , the draconian anti-union law shoved through the state legislature, with ALEC’s willing participation and support yet again. But back to Ohio House Bill 194 for now. There’s an energy in the air, an energy that the right wing should worry about. People are quickly organizing petitions in all corners of the state. I signed the referendum petition myself last weekend at a church on the east side of Cleveland. A whole team of volunteers were holding signs and talking to passersby about the legislation. Voters came from miles around—the woman in line in front of me made an hour long drive from the Akron area in her minivan with a group of friends because she “just couldn’t wait to find a petition in my town.” This typifies the excitement many people are feeling right now. While the legislature and governor passed laws restricting our right to vote, Ohioans are not content to sit idly by. Many people feel that we can — and will — stand up for our rights and bring this bill to a statewide vote. In a time where the legislature, courts, and other elected officials are doing little to stop these types of bills from going into effect, it’s comforting to know the people are still willing to exercise their own veto power. The power of “we” is strong in Ohio. They need to gather 231,000 signatures by September 29th to stop the bill from going into effect on September 30th. If you live in Ohio, please sign the petition. You can find locations for petition drives here . It is heartening and ironic to see voters stand up for their rights in Ohio, the same state where voting machines gave the 2004 election to George W. Bush. I hope it catches fire in every state.

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Buddy, Can You Spare A Job?

enlarge I read a lot of editorials, but rarely does one send my outrage meter into the red zone the way this one does. For a person who rarely goes into “hair on fire” mode, it’s ugly when I do. Consider this my rant directed to the Washington Post’s Charles Lane , who snarks his way through a series of inane arguments for why the provisions to assist the long-term unemployed are somehow wrong-headed and stupid. Snarky Stupid Argument #1: The long-term unemployed have simply “taken some time off” Obama’s idea – already distilled into legislation by Connecticut Democrats Rosa DeLauro in the House and Richard Blumenthal in the Senate – certainly has intuitive appeal. How indecent of some companies to hang out a “No Jobless Need Apply” sign at a time of record unemployment. And how contrary to their own self-interest: surely there are future employees of the month out there in the great pool of jobless Americans. “That makes absolutely no sense,” the president told a radio talk show audience the other day. Actually, I can think of a couple of reasons why it would make sense. Companies may want people familiar with the latest trends and conditions in their industry, so that they don’t have to spend money training them up. Is it irrational for a hospital to prefer a nurse from their crosstown rival over a nurse who took five years off and is trying to get back into the field? Some firms may find that narrowing the field of potential hires in advance makes the hiring process more efficient. Oh, hell yes. In a situation where some people were laid off in 2007 and 2008 and haven’t found their way back to a job, it’s really simply a matter of them taking a few years off? Because they were tired of working and didn’t need that paycheck or those benefits. And the nurse example is absurd, since I’m pretty sure nurses have accreditation standards to meet and continuing education to keep their nursing certificate current. How about that bank teller that was laid off when everything went kerfluey the first time? Or the over-50-but-perfectly-competent customer service representative? Did they just “take a few years off”? Snarky Stupid Argument #2: Markets determine hiring decisions This may or may not be a sensible calculation for any particular business. But I’m not prepared to second-guess them or assign malicious intent without a lot more specific information. In any case, if a firm that refuses to consider the unemployed is wrong about the costs and benefits of doing so, they’ll lose business to competitors that recruit differently. The market will punish them swiftly and effectively. Oh, please. All hail the magic markets. You know, those markets that got us into this ridiculous situation to begin with? Those markets. But I digress. What is it he is saying here? Is he just so caught within his own little Beltway Bubble that he doesn’t quite understand that millions of jobs just evaporated and will never come back? Never. Let’s talk about costs and benefits. In this job market, experience counts for less than nothing. Employers do indeed consider costs and benefits, and anyone over the age of 50 will come up short, despite having many more years of experience and knowledge of the tasks at hand. Health care costs too much for them when compared to the incredibly low costs of insuring younger people. Forget his magic markets. There is no market. And when there’s even a glint of an opportunity, it’s pretty disgusting to be discarded without even so much as a nod at the resume because there’s a glut on that “market”, so to speak. Snarky Stupid Argument #3: It’s really not that big of a deal Be that as it may, the no-jobless-need-apply problem is probably not nearly as widespread, or as harmful to the unemployed, as Obama and other advocates of legislation suggest. The National Employment Law Project, which has made “unemployment discrimination” a cause celebre, found a total of 150 exclusionary ads in a four-week survey of four job-search sites — Monster.com, Craigslist.com, CareerBuilder.com and Indeed.com. That’s 150 — out of more than a million postings on the Web at any given time. Anecdotally, I call BS on that. It happens every single damn day. Don’t assume that every employer who discriminates puts a sign on their door confirming it. Want a job on the Internet? Got skills? Well, guess what? You don’t get considered for that job, or even get your resume in front of someone if you haven’t been employed in the past year. They don’t have to say it to do it. Snarky Stupid Argument #4: It’s a burden on business Subjecting companies to the risk of job-discrimination litigation is justifiable in the case of pervasive, historically rooted evils such as race or gender bias. But burdening the private sector for this dubious new purpose, in these difficult times, would be a big mistake. Seems simple enough for business to avoid it. All they have to do is not discriminate, right? Now with all of the snarky stupid arguments out of the way, I will say that I don’t believe legislation will be all that effective, but it will ensure that some out-of-work fresh-faced law school graduates get work. It’s almost impossible to prove this kind of discrimination because it’s never blatant, and it involves following hiring patterns over a time horizon with follow-through on those not hired. Employers can always give a reason for not hiring someone, even one as simple as their gut check that one employee will be a better fit than another. I know because I’ve been the one who hired people. Ultimately the decision comes down to how that applicant will fit inside the larger organization, and there is no way to prove otherwise. The best that legislation will do is put their foot in the door or their resume in front of a reviewer. They won’t be able to go much farther than that. But don’t insult my intelligence with ridiculous arguments that marginalize people who are already suffering far worse effects from this recession than many.

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Spartacus: Gods of the Arena

Type: DVD Title: Spartacus: Gods of the Arena See all customer reviews Product Description: The House of Batiatus has towered above the city of Capua for many years. Spartacus: Gods of the Arena will explore its deadly history before the arrival of Spartacus, and the death he carried with him. Loyalties will be tested, lives shattered, and battles waged in this thrilling prequel to Spartacus: Blood and Sand . Actors: John Hannah Lucy Lawless Dustin Clare Peter Mensah Jaime Murray See the details

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%27austin Powers%27 Actor Sentenced Life In Prison

humorfeast says: Humor Feast: ‘ Austin Powers ‘ actor sentenced life in prison http://t.co/J2iG9Mc via @ humorfeast

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A 13-mile hike up a 14,100-foot mountain would be challenging for anyone, let alone someone with a physical disability. Tomorrow, a 42-year-old paralyzed Colorado man will do it in a wheelchair. Glen House will be one of about 450 hikers participating in the Pikes Peak Challenge for charity, and…

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Barney Frank: Republicans Don’t Want the Economy or Obama to Succeed

Click here to view this media After discussing the Republicans reaction to President Obama’s speech laying out his proposals for job creation and their scornful reaction to the President mentioning that Warren Buffett pays a lower tax rate than his secretary, Lawrence O’Donnell asked Rep. Barney Frank whether there was any chance of his bill passing through the House of Representatives. Rep. Frank stated the obvious reasons why it won’t. As Frank noted, Republicans do not accept the notion that government is capable of doing anything to improve people’s lives, they don’t believe in government, period, and they don’t want the economy to get any better because that would mean President Obama’s chances of getting reelected get better. And as Frank pointed out, the Republicans have already said their number one goal was to keep the President from being reelected. O’Donnell asked Frank what he thought about the idea of President Obama going around to different Republican House districts and show the roads and bridges that need to be rebuilt there, the teachers that could be hired there and what not and whether that strategy might work or not. FRANK: I believe the president should try and will try, but let me… let’s go with the metaphor here. Air Force One is a transport plane, it’s not a bomber. The president can’t go over districts and bomb them into submission. Frank also pointed out the other problem with that strategy, which is that the dominating force in Republican politics is their extreme right-wing base, that is pushing them further and further to the right and away from what most of the country wants in order to get Americans back to work, but they’re the ones who show up to vote in the primaries, so the Republicans are beholden to them.

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Reince Priebus Thinks America is Ready for an ‘Adult Conversation’ on Entitlements

Click here to view this media MSNBC’s Chuck Todd spoke to RNC Chairman Reince Priebus about this week’s GOP debate and asked Priebus if he was concerned at all on whether Mitt Romney’s arguments against Rick Perry during that debate on Social Security might not work given the fact that now Republican Sen. Ron Johnson who beat Russ Feingold in Wisconsin called Social Security a “Ponzi scheme” as well and won . As Chuck Todd pointed out, the conventional wisdom that Perry’s rhetoric is going to turn off voters in the Republican base might very well be wrong, and Todd asked Priebus if that was what he learned after watching the race between Johnson and Feingold. Priebus responded by saying that “people understand that the government is making promises it can’t keep” and asked if we can “be adults” and admit that and said the second question is what we are going to do to solve it. He then went on to praise Paul Ryan’s and the House Republican’s plan to privatize Medicare and said he thinks it’s a “safe place” for all of our candidates to go and that “it’s pretty clear that we have to start tackling our entitlements.” Priebus went onto note that even the Obama administration has said that we need to tackle our “entitlements” and downplayed Perry’s over the top rhetoric, and Karl Rove’s criticism of Perry as well. Sadly, he’s right that we’re going to find out before long whether one, the Obama administration helps the Republicans in the next election and cedes the ground to them on protecting our social safety nets rather than hammering them on the best issue they have to make some gains the next election. And we’re going to find out if the Republican base is so far to the right that they actually think attacking Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid are somehow winning issues for them, and they elect Rick Perry as their next presidential candidate. Given the mood of the electorate in Wisconsin now and the case of buyer’s remorse they have with how the GOP has been managing their state and that Johnson had a 36 percent approval rating in April of 2011 , I’m not so sure it’s such a good idea for Republicans or Priebus to be looking to that race as any indication of the mood of the electorate in the upcoming election and calling their views now “safe.” Personally I think it should be political suicide for any of them that still want to be giving tax cuts to the rich and going after, and I hate this word, “entitlements.” If Priebus thinks having an “adult conversation” on the matter is a winning issue for the GOP and wants to triple down on Paul Ryan’s privatization of Medicare during the upcoming election, I say bring it on. And if it appears the administration is going to help muddy the waters for them by potentially doing something like raising the age for Social Security or for Medicare eligibility, they need to be hammered for being tone deaf to the desires of the electorate as well. There are ways to make those programs solvent. Telling seniors you’ve got to work until you drop dead if you’re lucky enough to have a job and are still capable of working shouldn’t be one of them.

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Video Catches Boehner Bragging About Golf Before Obama’s Speech

Click here to view this media An open mike caught Vice President Joe Biden (D) and House Speaker John Boehner (R) joking before President Barack Obama’s speech to a joint session of Congress Thursday. “Hey, I’m one of those barbarians,” Boehner said, greeting Biden with a handshake. “You are,” Biden agreed, laughing. “We’re at the gate.” “I was playing golf in August,” Boehner volunteered. “Seven birdies, five bogies. I shoot two under. So, we have lunch, sitting around for about an hour and and I thought, ‘Why don’t we play nine more holes?’” “Six pars, three birdies and I missed a four-foot, straight-in birdie on the last hole,” the Speaker added. “No!” Biden remarked. “Oh, so the next day, I go to Sandhills, I shoot a 86,” Boehner added, with a big laugh. “One day I play great, the next day I play awful. But this is the round of the decade. I haven’t done this for 12 years. I shot a 67 one time.” EDITOR’S NOTE: There’s not a gotcha “news worthy” disclosure in this open mike video. What it is is a candid moment in the DC bubble with John Boehner. As much as the Speaker of the House and his ilk like to vilify the other side of the aisle, they actually are chummy when the cameras are off. It’s all theatrics for the media. Call it GOPeacocking. Plus, as a man who tends to, as Roger Ebert has pointed out, only cry at his own greatness – he also really likes to talk about how great he is too. You know what that’s not great for? Jobs. His or anyone else’s.

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New York on security alert amid warning of 9/11 terror threat

Police stopping all vans and lorries after reports that a car bomb was planned to disrupt Sunday’s 9/11 anniversary Vehicle checkpoints were in place in key locations of New York on Friday, with police stopping all vans and lorries passing through the city in response to specific and credible intelligence that a car bomb was planned to disrupt the 10th anniversary of 9/11. The Guardian understands that the dramatic security hike was carried out on the basis of an alert that came from a long-term intelligence source who has proved reliable in the past. But the source picked up the information second-hand, which is why it is being portrayed as “reliable but unconfirmed”. The department of homeland security has not raised the terrorist alert level, but it is being considered. As the final touches were being put in place for Sunday’s commemoration of the anniversary at Ground Zero, which both President Obama and his predecessor George Bush are expected to attend, the heightened security that had been promised by several federal and local agencies was clearly visible on the streets of Manhattan. All lorries were being stopped on George Washington Bridge and there were increased security at all other bridges and tunnels. Police road blocks were set up in key intersections of the city, including 59th Street and Lexington Avenue. In Times Square the police presence was especially evident, perhaps mindful of the car bomb of inflammable fuel and fireworks that came close to exploding there on a busy Saturday night in May 2010. A road block was set up in the middle of the square itself, and on main cross-streets leading into it, causing virtual gridlock. Despite the inconvenience, truck drivers who were the focus of police attention showed no signs of disgruntlement. “I’m happy in a way, as the truck in front of me could be stuffed with explosives,” said Henry Simon, shortly after his removal van was stopped and searched. A Scottish choir of 123 singers formed by the Lothian & Borders and Tayside police choirs went ahead with an impromptu performance in Times Square, but cancelled its plans to sing on the subway, fearing that they might be suspected as a decoy. “We are here to show Scotland’s compassion for those who lost their lives on 9/11, we don’t want to upset anyone,” said the musical director Andrew Russel. As New York knuckled down for what promises to be a tense weekend, US intelligence agencies were continuing to try to track down three men who, according to the threat warning, had entered the US since August with the aim of launching an attack. The report of a plot, which Obama was told about on Wednesday night, were said to be plausible and more specific than usual, although it came from one source and was uncorroborated. The vice-president, Joe Biden, said the intelligence gathered by the CIA suggested the three men might be planning a vehicle-based attack. “We do have talk about using a car bomb. But we do not have confirmation of that – we don’t have a smoking gun,” Biden told ABC News. The CIA is working with Pakistan to gather information about the men, who may be from the Pakistan-Afghanistan border region. One of the men is reported to be a US citizen, and the other two may have had US papers, and intelligence officials are understood to be scouring databases to track several names of individuals who entered the country after mid-August. Congressman Pete King, who sits on the House intelligence committee and receives regular briefings from the agencies, told CNN that the level of detail stretched to how it would be carried out and that “it is plausible, though there are some holes in it”. A US official said: “US counter-terrorism entities have been alert for any leads, and for the first time we’ve received specific and credible – but unconfirmed – threat information linked to the 9/11 anniversary.  Any and all leads related to possible plots are of course being run to ground.” One of the key findings of the 9/11 commission report that looked at the events leading up to the attacks on New York and Washington 10 years ago was that there were ample warnings in the weeks leading up to 9/11 of a massive attack in the pipeline, yet the intelligence was not acted upon and shared between agencies. Everybody involved in the current scare, from Obama and the CIA through to the FBI and NYPD, is very aware of that finding and determined to avoid making the same mistakes again. New York United States Global terrorism September 11 2001 Barack Obama Ed Pilkington Ewen MacAskill guardian.co.uk

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