Chelsea v Everton | Evan Fanning

• Hit F5 to refresh or turn on the automatic widget below • Email your thoughts to evan.fanning.casual@guardian.co.u k • Follow Evan on Twitter, if that’s your thing • All today’s results from across the divisions • The latest Premier League tables and stats On a more (or less) serious note Gary Naylor writes: “One of the many iniquitous effects of the injection of external money into football (please let these debt rules be introduced as soon as possible and be enforced with an iron fist – no chance, I know) is that the billionaire’s playthings can buy second, even third string, players who would walk into 15 or so Premier League teams. The likes of Adam Johnson or Daniel Sturridge should be at a club like Everton or Villa, as they are second strings at their own clubs. Playing ninety minutes every week would enhance their England prospects too. The old Bill Shankly line about the second best team in England being Liverpool Reserves is being realised, albeit not at Liverpool. If Manchester City, Chelsea and Manchester United entered shadow squads in the Premier League, they’d all finish in the top half wouldn’t they? Too many games are just another step in a procession. Ho Hum.” Half-time Queen watch (including pictorial evidence): “Are you sure Tim Cahill met The Queen?” asks Gary Naylor. “Can we be sure it wasn’t Dame Edna?” “Mate,” says Jeremy Austin. “Rolf was sick (possibly chundering) and had to miss the Queen’s summons. I hear Elle was there, (she’s a hot Sheilah) which probably compensated.” Ryan Dunne writes: “Don’t know if it’s ever actually happened, but whenever The Queen meets Australia’s cricketers at the Lord’s Ashes test, I’m always worried that one of them will call Her Majesty a “sheila”.” Half time: Chelsea 2-0 Everton. The home side somehow have a comfortable lead despite Everton being the better team for much of the half. Goal! Chelsea 2-0 Everton (Terry 45) A simple goal for Chelsea as Terry glances Lampard’s inswinging free kick. The header wasn’t going goalwards but it hits Howards’s flailing arm and bounces into the net. Howard was all over the place there. Perhaps he even managed to camouflage himself. 45 + 1 min: Ashley Cole is fouled by Coleman and Chelsea have a free kick on the left whcih will be the last action of the half … 44 min: This is a decent spell from Everton as Baines finds Saha in the area. Saha can’t seem to make up his mind what to do and eventually tries to stab an effort goalwards but Terry blocks and Chelsea clear. 42 min: Tim Cahill met to Queen on Thursday, according to ESPN. He was one of a number of Australians “summoned”. Who else do you think was there? Rolf Harris? 41 min: Everton work the ball into a decent position on the left but Osman has knocked Sturridge over off the ball and the whistle goes. Baines then sticks out a leg and trips the tricks Sturridge who appeared to be auditioning for a role as stepover king Denilson and he picks up a yellow card. 36 min: Ashley Cole picks up a yellow card for taking down Hibbert after some nice crisp passing between the full-back and Coleman on Everton’s right flank. Baines’s resulting free kick is far too deep and Cech claims easily. 33 min: Mata looks in the mood now and nearly gets in behiond the Everton back four but Howard races off his line to gather. “What colour is Tim Howard’s jersey? I can’t distinguish it from its surroundings,” asks Damien Neva. It’s army fatigue. I think that’s the point. Goal!! Chelsea 1-0 Everton (Sturridge 30) Everton switch off for the first time and Daniel Sturridge gives Chelsea the lead. Mata clips the ball over the top to Ashley Cole who has got in behind the Everton defence. Cole cushions a cross on the half-volley and Sturridge is the only one who has reacted to the first ball and is rewarded with a simple header into an empty net. 24 min: Bosingwa crosses from the right but it’s far too close to Howard who catches easily. If clubs wanted an example of why they shouldn’t be allowed sell individual TV rights across the globe this game is it. “Following Amy Lawrence’s fabulous turn on yesterday’s Live Blog, why do you never get women officating MBM/OBOs?” asks Ryan Dunne who ruins his ‘pro-women in football’ viewpoint with the next sentence which reads: “Afterall, I’m sure there must be lots of (preferably hot and single) women who read and contribute to them! Man, I’m surprised Polly Toynbee’s never raised the issue.” 24 min: “I don’t think enough credit has been given to Ramires for the improvement in Chelsea’s play, with most people highlighting Mata who’s a more flashy player,” writes Brendan Large. “Ramires is like the new Lampard. Unfortunately Lampard is now the new Jon Obi Mikel, meaning we now have two slow, not very good defensive midfielders playing who can’t defend.” 21 min: Everton win another corner as Osman picks out Baines who finds Fellaini in the area. The afro-clad midfielder takes a touch but Mikel does well to get back and the put the ball behind for a corner which comes to nothing. 19 min: Bosingwa cuts in from the right flank and shoots with his weaker left foot but he drags the shot and it trickes harmlessly wide of Tim Howard’s post. 18 min: So far this game has all the edge of an episode of Glee. 17 min: The first glimpse of Drogba as an attacking threat as he spins Jagielka on the edge of the area but fails to drive into the area to explot the space and the Everton defender gets a block to his cross and the ball bounces clear. 14 min: Yellow card for Fellaini whio leaves his foot in as Ramires clears. It’s a needless challenge and a stupid yellow to pick up. “Evening Evan,” writes Julian Menz. “Everton might have dodgy-away-kit issues, but what were Chelsea thinking? Joan Collins-goes-gridiron-in-a-Birmingham City-hand-me-down: I’m a Chelsea fan and all, but it’s just nasty.” 13 min: Chelsea’s attacks are all rather toothless so far and Distin and Jagielka have yet to be tested in any serious way. It’s certainly not the kind of past-paced football seen at the Reebok in their last outing. 10 min: The best chance of the match so far and it’s gone Everton’s way. Osman picks up the ball just inside the Chelsea half and threads a perfectly weighted pass through to Saha on the left. The striker manages to avoid injury while cutting inside and firing a low right-footed shot which Cech needs two attempst to gather. 8 min: Coleman again finds space on the right and tries to beat Cole but has to settle for a corner. Baines swings the corner right under Cech’s crossbar but the Chelsea keeper does well to claw away while under pressure. 5 min: Everton have a half-chance to trouble, or at least they would have have if Cahill had spotted Coleman in acres of space outside him when he rose to head at the edge of the area. Instead he goes for goal and Cech gathers with ease. It’s a decent start from Everton. 4 min: Chelsea knock the ball round in the slow and measured manner that so delights Fernando Torres. Drogba drops deep and pings a ball over the top which Ramires races after but he’s eased out of the way by Distin. The Chelsea fans want a free kick but there’s no chance. Meanwhile Gary Naylor has supplied an entry from his book of proverbs. “There’s an old saying in football – “You can’t buy trophies”. It’s getting older all the time.” 2 min: Everton move onto the front foot early on as Cahill attempts to scamper into the area but Ivanovic snuffs out the danger. Ashley Cole then dallies in the area and Coleman blocks his clerance but Osman pushes Ivanovic in his hurry to get to the loose ball and the whistle goes. Peep!! Mike Jones blows his whistle and Chelsea kick off playing from right-to-left in their traditional blue. Ryan Dunne may be right. Everton are Gok Wan’s favourite team. Today they are decked out in their “glacier marl” third kit (grey to you and me) which as everybody knows is so hot right now, is the new black/brown/grey/green and, if it isn’t careful, will soon be adopted by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and will have to travel round with a bag over its head to avoid being photographed by those evil paparazzi. Or worse, it could have flat cap pulled over its head, which brings us back to square one. An email. In fact there are two emails but one was merely pointing out that the intro stated “David Moyes named an unchanged team from the side which lost to Everton” which is obviously not technically possible. The other is from Ryan Dunne who writes: “‘Sup Evan! It’s Ryan Dunne, from the internet, as featured on an MBM a few weeks back! Mad props to your colleague’s advice on Blink 182′s new album; I think that “Natives”, “Up All Night”, “Snake Charmer” and “Heart’s All Gone” are all superb! Everton surely don’t adhere to the ducks (and indeed Duckworth) stereotype you invoked so. Afterall, last season they had stylish PINK and CREAM away kits, whereas this season their goalie is decked out in army fatigue colours! Truly, if Gok Wan supported a Premiere League Side, it would be Everton (Yours, disappointed that the Glorious Glasgow Rangers have never had a pink away kit.” Hollywood’s Hugh Jackman has just narrated a segment about Everton midfielder and compatriot Tim Cahill’s fighting spirit. Obviously he also got a plug in for his new film Reel Steel, which is basically Rocky meets Robot Wars. Speaking of Hollywood, ESPN are showing off their new ESPN Arena which is basically a hologram version of Subbuteo. So Chelsea are the new Barcelona, eh? Or at least the new Arsenal, tip-tapping their opponents into submission with devastating displays of high-octane modern football. Everton, meanwhile, have pulled their flap cap firmly over their head and are refusing to embrace modern technology, travelling everywhere by push-bike, referring to women as “duck” and grumbling that everything was better when things didn’t cost so much. But Everton like playing at Chelsea. It’s five years since they last lost at Stamford Bridge although it’s even longer since they last won (1994). The last five meetings at the Bridge have been draws and another today would set a Premier League record. David Moyes has praised the job Andre Villas-Boas has done since moving to Chelsea and believes that in Juan Mata they have a player that can make a real differece. “Mata is probably as close to David Silva in the Premier League as I have seen,” Moyes said prior to the game. An odd statement given that Silva is in the Premier League so presumably he is the most like David Silva with Mata a close second? Unless there is some sort of Talented Mr Ripley situation developing, in which case hang on to your hats. Mata starts as Villas-Boas makes two changes from the side which was so impressive at Bolton two weeks ago. David Moyes barely has 11 players to pick from so he names an unchanged team from the side which lost to Liverpool with Jack Rodwell’s red card having been rescinded. Here are the two teams … Chelsea: Cech; Bosingwa, Ivanovic, Terry, Cole; Mikel, Lampard, Ramires; Sturridge, Drogba, Mata. Subs: Turnbull, Romeu, Malouda, Meireles, Lukaku, Alex, Anelka. Everton: Howard; Hibbert, Jagielka, Distin, Baines; Coleman, Fellaini, Rodwell, Osman; Cahill; Saha. Subs: Mucha, Heitinga, Bilyaletdinov, Drenthe, Stracqualursi, Neville, Vellios. Referee: Mike Jones (Cheshire) Premier League 2011-12 Chelsea Everton Evan Fanning guardian.co.uk

Posted by on October 15, 2011. Filed under News, Politics, World News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.