Saturday clockwatch | John Ashdown

• Email john.ashdown@guardian.co.uk with your musings • Press F5 to refresh this page or use our auto-refresher • Holler at John on Twitter if you are in to that sort of thing • Click here for all the latest scores across Europe 3.27pm: Port Vale, in their grey knickers, have gone 1-0 up against the hapless Plymouth. And in better news for the south coast, Southampton are now 2-1 up against Steve McClaren’s Nottingham Forest. 3.25pm: Finally, a bit of a breather. It’s been a hectic start. Everton, Manchester City, Stoke and Chelsea are ahead. The only game in the Premier League that is goalless is the affair at the Emirates. With 25 minutes gone things might start getting cranky there soon. 3.23pm: Palace have come from behind to lead 2-1 at Elland Road and in that big game in League Two I mentioned earlier Morecambe are 2-0 up against this morning’s leaders Crawley. 3.22pm: “‘Glanced wide by Bendtner – Who really should have done better,’ will probably be the name of his autobiography,” reckons Lucien Hoare. The place to be for shots on target, though, is Gigg Lane – it’s Bury 1-3 Rochdale with only a quarter of the game gone. 3.21pm: GOAL! Stoke 1-0 Liverpool (Walters 21pen) Against the run of play at the home side take the lead. Carragher concedes the spot-kick, Walters makes no mistake from the spot. 3.20pm: GOAL! Everton 1-0 Aston Villa (Osman 19) Can’t tell you how it happened I’m afraid, but the Toffees are one-up. 3.19pm: MISSED PENALTY! And Carlos Tevez is the culprit. Al Habsi makes the save, but it was a weak effort. 3.18pm: … GOAL! Sunderland 0-1 Chelsea (Terry 18) … the free-kick thwocks a post but Sunderland can’t clear and the ball breaks to Terry who smacks the ball home at the second attempt. Harsh on Sunderland, who’d been matching the visitors. 3.17pm: Anelka gets tripped on the edge of the box, giving Chelsea a very dangerous set-piece … 3.15pm: Arsenal are this close to going ahead at the Emirates. Walcott beats the keeper but his shot is cleared off the line by Caulker. 3.14pm: Stunning save from Friedel keeps Tottenham on level terms at Molineux. There’s goalmouth action all over the place thus far. 3.13pm: GOAL! Manchester City 1-0 Wigan (Aguero 13) The Argentinian duo combine up front for City – Tevez sets up Aguero for the opening goal of the game. 3.11pm: Sunderland have a dangerous free-kick at the Stadium of Light – whipped in by Cattermole, glanced wide by Bendtner who really should have done better. It was a free header, 10 yards out. 3.11pm: Arteta is on set-piece duty for Arsenal – he whips in a corner that is cleared by Ashley Williams for the Swans. 3.10pm: And Southampton have equalised. And so have West Ham. So it’s as you were. 3.09pm: Goals in the Championship: Portsmouth are ahead at Upton Park, and Forest are 1-0 up at Southampton. 3.07pm: Stunning save from Szczesny keeps the scores level at the Emirates, with Graham close to poking Swansea into a surprise lead. 3.05pm: An early goal the A58 derby between Bury and Rochdale – the Dale are ahead at Gigg Lane. 3.03pm: Aaron Ramsey has missed an early chance at the Emirates. And Liverpool have started strongly at the Britannia Stadium. 3.01pm: What ho! Optimism alert! “I am an Arsenal fan and I am feeling thoroughly optimistic about the new signings,” writes Robert Murphy. “Today’s team, on paper at least, seems to have a balance and maturity that I haven’t seen in an Arsenal team for a long time. I predict a 3-0 Arsenal win. I should have learned by now, but I haven’t. Also, PG Wodehouse is the funniest writer I have ever read.” 2.55pm: Carlos Tevez has apparently taken his nippers on the pitch pre-match. They seem to have spent as much time on the pitch as their dad has of late. 2.51pm: From the Twittersphere: this is slightly troubling from Plymouth fan Jo Lumani. Port Vale will be facing Argyle at Home Park today wearing “grey jerseys and grey knickers” according to the teamsheet . 2.47pm: “Not all Everton fans agree, but I love a Wilsonesque 4-6-0,” writes Gary Naylor. “With Rodwell and Fellaini holding, I expect Osman, Coleman, Bily and Cahill to raid forward. Who picks up whom?” 2.41pm: The sun is shining at Molineux. Which is a good job for those in the not-yet-completed North Bank . Pre-kick-off email dept. “Never got into the TV version of Jeeves and Wooster,” writes Ed. “The idea of it is good – Fry and Laurie perfect casting etc. – but it just can’t emulate Wodehouse’s zip, pep and guile. Much like some team or other can’t emulate some other team or other, or something. Well, you fill in the football analogy bit.” “The Verve (from l-r),” begins Dan Poole. “Joe Cole with hair; Paolo Maldini after a month or two in Wigan; Harry Redknapp back in the day; Richard Dunne’s second cousin once removed. ” The gaffer , Sean Ingle, reckons the lay on Everton is the bet of the day today. He says put your house on it and he’ll personally refund anyone who loses money by following his advice.* *Please note: Sean will not personally refund personally refund anyone who loses money by following his advice. Man City v Wigan Man City: Hart, Richards, Kompany, Lescott, Clichy, Milner, Toure Yaya, Johnson, Silva, Aguero, Tevez. Subs: Pantilimon, Zabaleta, Dzeko, Nasri, Toure, Balotelli, Razak. Wigan: Al Habsi, Boyce, Caldwell, Lopez, Figueroa, Rodallega, Diame, Watson, McArthur, Moses, Di Santo. Subs: Kirkland, McCarthy, Crusat, Gomez, Sammon, Jones, Stam. Referee: Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire) Arsenal v Swansea Arsenal: Szczesny, Sagna, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Gibbs, Ramsey, Frimpong, Arteta, Arshavin, Walcott, van Persie. Subs: Fabianski, Park, Andre Santos, Djourou, Chamakh, Benayoun, Coquelin. Swansea: Vorm, Rangel, Caulker, Williams, Taylor, Agustien, Britton, Allen, Sinclair, Dyer, Graham. Subs: Tremmel, Dobbie, Lita, Moore, Bessone, Gower, Richards. Referee: Stuart Attwell (Warwickshire) Sunderland v Chelsea Sunderland: Mignolet, Bardsley, Bramble, Brown, Richardson, Larsson, Cattermole, Gardner, Colback, Sessegnon, Bendtner. Subs: Westwood, Wickham, Vaughan, Ji, Turner, Elmohamady, McClean. Chelsea: Cech, Bosingwa, Ivanovic, Terry, Cole, Mata, Lampard, Ramires, Meireles, Sturridge, Anelka. Subs: Hilario, Luiz, Torres, Malouda, Kalou, McEachran, Romeu. Referee: Lee Probert (Wiltshire) Stoke v Liverpool Stoke: Begovic, Huth, Shawcross, Upson, Wilson, Pennant, Delap, Whitehead, Etherington, Walters, Crouch. Subs: Sorensen, Whelan, Jones, Wilkinson, Shotton, Jerome, Palacios. Liverpool: Reina, Carragher, Skrtel, Agger, Jose Enrique, Kuyt, Adam, Lucas, Henderson, Downing, Suarez. Subs: Doni, Johnson, Carroll, Maxi, Coates, Spearing, Bellamy. Referee: Mark Clattenburg (Tyne & Wear) Wolverhampton v Tottenham Wolverhampton: Hennessey, Stearman, Johnson, Berra, Ward, Kightly, Henry, O’Hara, Hunt, Doyle, Fletcher. Subs: De Vries, Elokobi, Hammill, Milijas, Vokes, Foley, Jarvis. Tottenham: Friedel, Walker, King, Kaboul, Assou-Ekotto, Kranjcar, Parker, Modric, Bale, Adebayor, Defoe. Subs: Cudicini, Bassong, Livermore, Pavlyuchenko, Townsend, Falque, Giovani. Referee: Peter Walton (Northamptonshire) Everton v Aston Villa Everton: Howard, Hibbert, Jagielka, Distin, Baines, Coleman, Fellaini, Rodwell, Bilyaletdinov, Osman, Cahill. Subs: Mucha, Drenthe, Stracqualursi, Neville, Gueye, Barkley, Vellios. Aston Villa: Given, Hutton, Dunne, Collins, Warnock, Petrov, Delph, N’Zogbia, Agbonlahor, Heskey, Bent. Subs: Guzan, Ireland, Albrighton, Delfouneso, Clark, Bannan, Herd. Referee: Michael Oliver (Northumberland) 2.17pm: In fact, Andre Villas Boas’s team selection is very interesting: Sturridge, Mata and Meireles all start . 2.14pm: Villas Boas has made good on his threat – Torres drops to the bench for Chelsea. 2.10pm: Parker starts for Spurs, Falque on the bench, while Jenas isn’t in the Villa squad at Goodison Park. Full details shortly. 2.07pm: At Manchester City: “Edin Dzeko left out after playing two full games for Bosnia, Aguero played 9 and 14 mins for Argentina, Tevez had week off” writes our man Daniel Taylor on Twitter. The City team: Hart, Richards, Kompany, Lescott, Clichy, Y Toure, Milner, Johnson, Silva, Aguero, Tevez 2.05pm: Some early team news from the Emirates: Arteta starts, as does Mertesacker. Preamble What-ho clockwatchers, all. Hope you’re in fine fettle. Me? In the pink, old fruit, in the pink. Though I feel I may have been watching too many episodes of Jeeves and Wooster just recently. So what have we got to look forward to in the 3pm Premier League kick-offs? Stoke v Liverpool Everton v Aston Villa Manchester City v Wigan Wolves v Tottenham Sunderland v Chelsea Arsenal v Swansea It’s an intriguing set of fixtures . Liverpool, Chelsea and Tottenham will all do well to pick up three points, Everton against Villa is a tough one to call and Arsenal really must, must beat Swansea. Further down the leagues Crawley’s trip to Morecambe is a meeting of two pace-setters in League Two, Sheffield Wednesday v MK Dons and Huddersfield v Tranmere are highlights in League One and West Ham v Portsmouth and Southampton v Forest are worth keeping an eye on in the Championship. Speaking of Arsenal, as I was a sentence or so agho, I cycled past the Emirates on my way into the office this morning, with the fans already milling about near Finsbury Park or making their way to the ground. Spotted one newly-bought shirt with “ARTETA 10″ on the back, and another emblazoned with the words “YOU CAN’T BUY HISTORY”, which was either a) a rather pricey way, given the cost of letters on the back of shirts, of having a dig at Manchester City or b) being worn by a man who works in a record shop that sells nothing but Verve singles and has grown tired of telling customers when certain LPs are out of stock. I like to think it was the latter, and that he has an away kit with “YOU CAN’T BUY LUCKY MAN” on the back and a goalkeeper’s jersey saying “RICHARD ASHCROFT? SORRY WE DON’T DO SOLO STUFF. PLEASE LEAVE. AND LEAVE NOW”. Premier League Championship League One League Two John Ashdown guardian.co.uk

Posted by on September 10, 2011. Filed under News, Politics, World News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.