England v Sri Lanka – day five live! | Rob Smyth

• Hit the auto-update button for the latest posts • Send your thoughts to rob.bagchi@guardian.co.uk • Sign up for our weekly cricket email, The Spin 10th over: Sri Lanka 27-1 (chasing 343 off 58 overs; Paranavitana 8, M Jaywardene 3) Better line from Broad until the last ball that squirts way wide of off stump. This from David Ward. Not Surrey’s stickable David Ward by any chance? “There was an episode in the most recent British TV series (can’t recall the details) about the Scarlet Pimpernel in which the Pimpernel – who is practising bowling on a wicket in his ancestral home’s ball room – ‘invents’ over arm bowling after being inspired by hurling a grenade away during some kind of elaborate plot to do something or other during the French Revolution. ‘A beautiful length. . .and Robespierre is out!’” Was that Richard E Grant, or REG as Jim Shelley used to call him? 9th over: Sri Lanka 26-1 (chasing 343 off 58 overs; Paranavitana 8, M Jaywardene 3) And here is Selve: “It is a condition of all TV fictional cricket that there is a close-up of the stumps being disturbed to cries of Owzat.” And then the umpire raises his finger. Swann comes on and gets the ball to skid on, not much turn though. More tales of rage from Andrew Jefford: “A member of Buxted Park CC (who shall remain nameless) was once so disappointed with an LBW decision that he threw his two gloves on the floor at the crease and kicked them all the way back to the pavilion. On getting close, he gave his left glove an almighty hoof, made just the right contact and sent it sailing onto the pavilion roof. It was a sheepish batsman that returned 20 minutes later with a ladder in order to retrieve his ‘lucky’ glove. Can’t imagine the opposition mentioned it at all.” 8th over: Sri Lanka 22-1 (chasing 343 off 58 overs; Paranavitana 6, M Jaywardene 3) Near suicidal call from Jayawardene for a ridiculously sharp single to cover. He would have been run out by three yards if Morgan had hit the stumps with his throw.”Your mention of Tristan Farnon reminded me in turn of the episode of All Creatures Great and Small in which Herriot is scrubbing up in a cold dark barn, prior to bovine insertion, but the small piece of rock-hard soap he’s been given keeps shooting out of his hands and the assembled farm-hands end-up forming a tight slip-cordon around him,” writes Chris Shepherd. I bet Hoppsy can whistle the theme tune to that. Selve, can you have a whistle off, you with your Happy Ever After, Hoppsy with his Johnny Pearson classic? 7th over: Sri Lanka 20-1 (chasing 343 off 58 overs; Paranavitana 5, M Jaywardene 2) More wide stuff to start from Tremlett all three balls arcing towards first slip and then the fourth, like Broad’s, is speared in. A gem from Neil Withers: “It’s not quite up there with Botham failing to get his leg over, but OBO readers may by interested to listen to to Aggers discussing Pietersen’s problems putting a rubber on , while Vaughan giggles away next to him. Fnar and indeed fnar. Do stop it Aggers. Thanks, Neil. 6th over: Sri Lanka 19-1 (chasing 343 off 58 overs; Paranavitana 5, M Jaywardene 1) OBO 1 Google 0: “I believe that Tony Singh is thinking of Gentlemen and Players, starring Brian Protheroe and Nicholas Clay.” Thanks to Josh Mandel. Simon Leyland has been at the ink blot books: “Does anybody think that the hole in the dressing room window look like a silhouette of Alfred Hitchcock, erstwhile film director and occasional opening bat or do I have too much time on my hands?” Broad is too wide outside off stump with his first three balls and then gets his fourth to nip back and almost cuts Jayawardene in two. Perhaps it’s part of a ploy to square him up, thinks Nick Knight. More red mist episodes from Daniel Beckell: “This classic happened only last Saturday. Saturday league game, second team fixture. Whilst waiting for the opposition to open the pavilion, a couple of the lads are ‘perfecting’ their golf swings with a pitching wedge. Cue one of the lads to take an almighty swing, let go of the pitching wedge and watch, open-mouthed, as it arc’d over the tall hedge of a surrounding property and make a wooden-sounding ‘clunk’ on the owner’s garage…it took him so long to come back that we all thought he was getting a proper filling-in. He got some decent abuse when he came out to bat, as you’d imagine. Great stuff.” Tharanga steers the last ball for four. 5th over: Sri Lanka 14-1 (chasing 343 off 58 overs; Paranavitana 1, M Jaywardene 1) Lucas Yelland wants to know how late play can go on. It depends on the light, though I think if they have to put the lights on they’ll take the batsmen off. Tremlett gets back in his rhythm against a right-hander, ace line outside off stump and tempting Jayawardene into a nibble but he deftly pulls his bat away. WICKET!! Sangakkara c Morgan b Tremlett 12 Poor ball from Tremlett as most have been in this opening spell, wide and short outside offstump. Sangakkara cuts, connects with the toe of his bat and spoons it to Morgan at cover point. 4th over: Sri Lanka 13-0 (chasing 343 off 58 overs; Paranavitana 1, Sangakkara 12) “Re: Over 77,” writes Robert Brown, “one of my mates at school once threw his tennis racket high in the air to show off, but missed the catch, leading to the racket handle smacking him in the mouth on the way down and taking two of his front teeth with it. He got married at the weekend so I’m sure his new bride heard worse stories about him, but the memory of that one always makes me chuckle.” Ha! More on TV, a request from Tony Singh: “As I’m sure hundreds of others are frantically telling you, was Peter Davison who wore the cable-knits in Dr Who. On a (vaguely) more interesting note, there was an 80s programme (ITV I believe) about the rivalry of two bankers – one a city spiv, the other a loadsamoney trader type – who lived in the same village and came together to play for the local team. I remember it as being quite good, although not so good that I can recall the title. Grateful for assistance.” Was it Shillingbury Tales, Tony? Thanks for the Whovians aplenty pointing out the error below, pointing out it was Tristan Farnon not the other chap in the cricket mufti. Maiden from Broad. 3rd over: Sri Lanka 13-0 (chasing 343 off 58 overs; Paranavitana 1, Sangakkara 12) Sangakkara also looks in excellent nick after his shambolic IPL-knacked start in Cardiff and picks up a pair of fours off Tremlett. John Allen makes his nomination: “Without a doubt the finest moment of cricket on the big screen comes in Carry on Follow that Camel! The end when Sheikh Abdul Abulbul bowls a juicy full toss bomb is classic Carry On. Just pips the disgrace that was the cricket game umpired by Begerac in Midsummer Racism.” Did anyone explain it to Phil Silvers? 2nd over: Sri Lanka 5-0 (chasing 343 off 58 overs; Paranavitana 1, Sangakkara 4) And it’s Broad from the Pavilion End. Benjamin Hendy feels the Cook love-in obscures another man’s achievements: “Looking at the stats for the past 18 months shows a different England batsman should be on the receiving end of a love in from someone other than Smyth. Ian Ronald Bell, number 3 in the world and a full 10 runs ahead of Cook in the average stakes.” He’s been superb, Benjamin. Those ahead of Cook in England’s century makers list by the way are Hammond, Boycs, Cowdrey on 22; Kenny Barrington and Gooch on 20; Sir Leonard and Strauss on 19. A propos of which, Will Scott writes: “Just to point out that while Cook is on 18 centuries, his skipper is one ahead of him – and Straussy is more than capable of beating Wally Hammond’s record, too. What if our opening pair end up heading the list of England century-makers – would that make them our greatest ever opening partnership? Weird.” 1st over: Sri Lanka 4-0 (chasing 343 off 58 overs; Paranavitana 1, Sangakkara 3) The former and acting skipper opens up instead of Dilshan. Paranavitana takes the strike and gets off the mark off a ball from Tremlett that lifted a bit and clipped his glove on its way down to fine leg. More news from Glassgate. Andrew Strauss and Matt Prior have apologised to the members, a lady egg and baconer has a cut ankle having been hit by a shard. “Has anyone mentioned Morse yet?” writes Mike Barron, I thought initially to find out who done the window. Sadly, not. “There was an episode where Lewis joined a cricket team to flush out a killer. Whateley looked uncomfortable ‘acting’ sport!” England declare and set Sri Lanka 343 to win off 58 overs Did that declaration come too late? It did for TMS. Seemed a little daft to have a figure of 350 and rigidly stick to it. Lee Burman writes on that subject: “Can’t see us declaring yet, memories of Sehwag’s brutal defrocking of our bowling in Chennai and the first innings malaise will mean we probably bat until tea or we’re all out! Re. Cricket on TV, do props count? If so I’ll offer Colin Baker’s jumper during his brief and fairly disastrous tenure as Dr Who.” “Tenure” is rapidly becoming one of the great football writing cliches, as in “four-year managerial tenure” that and “earning silverware”. WICKET!! Broad c Jayawardene b Fernando 3 A waft outside off stump, Jayawardene dived forward and looked to have caught it as Aleem Dar confirmed. 78th over: England 335-6 (led by seven on first innings; Broad 3, Bell 57) That’s Bell’s fastest ever Test 50 off 40 balls and then plays a majestic reverse sweep, soft-shoeing outside leg stump, changing his hands over and gliding it down to the boundary. 77th over: England 325-6 (led by seven on first innings; Broad 3, Bell 47) One of my mates once threw his tennis racket during a match, it bounced on the court and flew up and over the fence. He had to go and retrieve it and it took him about a minute. The umpire didn’t even dock him a point. 76th over: England 318-5 (led by seven on first innings; Broad 0, Bell 45) A window has been broken in teh home dressing room and the fingers are pointing at Prior having a Husseinesque strop and chucking his bat. I’ve played with a few bat chuckers in my time. Wicket!! Prior run out 4 Bell swung and missed, the ball cannoned off the wicketkeeper’s pads, Prior was backing up too far or possibly trying to nick a single even though Bell was on his knees, and Jayawardene picked up the ball and threw the stumps down at the bowler’s end. 75th over: England 313-5 (led by seven on first innings; Prior 0, Bell 41) So, as my colleague Matthew Hancock points out, Cook is four centuries short of Wally Hammond’s record of 22 for England. Morgan hooks the first ball he faces off his chin for four then gets out to mid off rather than extra cover as I said below. “Cook,” writes Avery Kode, “may very well break the English century record by the end of the summer and will probably amass 10,000 runs. Will he be considered an England great, do you think?” Yes. I think tehre’s a prejudice against him, or there was, in that he tends not to excite with a classical technique but if you consider Gooch great, then his protege will have to be great, too if he surpasses him. Unless he falls apart, of course. WICKET!! Morgan c sub (Randiv) b Fernando 4 he sacrificed himself after hooking his first ballk off his chin for four then tried a slog off a slower ball, got through the shot too quickly, took his bottom hand off the bat and skyed (skied??) the ball to extra cover. 74th over: England 305-4 (led by seven on first innings; Morgan 0, Bell 37) More arcane cricket references on TV from Chris Brown. Perhaps this video of Vincent Price explaining cricket would be of use to those trying to learn more about the game. It’s one of my favourite moments where the game makes a surprise appearance on television. May 27th would have been the great man’s 100th birthday.” Is that Charters and Caldicott he’s talking about?” Two of literature’s great cricket fans. Wicket!! Cook st Jayawardene b Herath 106 It took 17 replays for Aleem Dar to give it after Cook went down the wicket and had a reverse hoick. He grounded his bat just short of the crease and it bounced up just as Jayawardene whipped off the bails, A tight decision but the impeccable Aleem Dar got it spot on. 73rd over: England 303-3 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 105, Bell 37) And that’s Cook’s century, walking down the wicket, stepping outside off and clipping a four off his thigh to fine leg. “Is it just me or is Cook failing to get the credit he deserves? There can seldom have been a more rich vein of form from an England batsman. Just because he’s got a sensible haircut and he’s not married to a flipping popstar.” That’s Sam Blackledge’s view, and one I concur with. Since the start of the Ashes he’s averaging something like 140. Eighteen Test hundreds in 67 matches. Remarkable. 72nd over: England 296-3 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 98, Bell 37) Mike Cheeseman writes in with some welcome praise for Smyth and says this: “I have not felt this good about English cricket for a long long time. And to continue the debate from past OBO’s, there aint nofing wrong with beige trousers !! Just believe me :o)” I didn’t get that memo, Mike. Bell is in sumptuous nick, moving gracefully down the pitch then whacking it crisply with a devilishly fast swing of the bat. He biffs a four through extra cover that is as good as any shot I’ve seen from him. “Up on Maharoof,” writes Andrew Bagchi, “the Lankans are wobbling already.” 71st over: England 288-3 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 98, Bell 29) The Tap, of course, from Gary Naylor, as England give it some. “That cricket was referenced in that film gives a fan of the grand old game perspective, though possibly too much f****** perspective.” Now, here’s a strange one. Billy Doctrove turns down a half-hearted appeal for a run out when the sub hits the stumps at the non-striker’s end and Bell is short of his ground. He doesn’t go upstairs but the replay shows he was out. 70th over: England 283-3 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 96, Bell 27) More positive movement from Cook, striding down the wicket to clip a single off Herath. “What about this festival of inaccuracies ?” writes Leo Watkins. Bell advances again and slices it somewhat to wide mid off where Lancashire’s Roof dives, pouches it then grasses it seconds before he hits the turf. He runs three to give Cook the strike who gets his reverse sweep working again for an ungainly four. “There’s a delightful passage of faux cricket in Jeeves and Wooster, with the rotund bowler making Jacques Kallis look positively anorexic.” Pip, pip, Chris Stephens. Ta for that. 69th over: England 275-3 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 90, Bell 24) Here’s Rob Moody, to whom we owe so much: “Hi there, had a pleasant surprise when I woke up this morning when I found my youtube upload of Robin Smith vs Merv Hughes had 1,800 more views than when I went to bed. I thought youtube fans had all of a sudden gotten some good taste finally, but then I found it linked on your ball by ball commentary page! Glad you enjoyed it! No better sight than a glorious Smith cut shot, and I’m an Aussie!” Ah, the Judge. Cook creams Lakmal through point for a single after running two off the first ball. Their footwork is far more aggressive after lunch, trying to knock Sri Lanka off their length. Was that Goochie’s lunch break input I wonder. 68th over: England 272-3 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 88, Bell 24) Herath resumes and Bell gets on top of his second ball and flicks it to wide third man for two, then dances down the wicket and slightly toes it over deep mid on for a four that would have been a massive six if he’d middled it. Cook reverse swats the fifth ball for a single and Bell then steps back to force the last ball through the covers for another four. Game on. “Surely the greatest collision between fictional TV and cricket is this ? writes Ryan Dunne. After all, the great man doesn’t appear on any old TV show (aside from his own).” Is that Lou Carpenter, Ryan? Does anyone watch Neighbours since it moved to Five? Lunch: Memo from the above squeaky dog’s best friend via Sky’s Nasser Hussain, Nick Knight and David Gower for Alastair Cook: “Izzy wizzy, let’s get busy.” The early lunch analysis had all three criticising Cook’s inability to get a shift on this morning and judged that Sri Lanka won that session by keeping the run rate so low. There was even a suggestion that the quest for personal milestones had provoked Cook into his overly cautious approach. I think he has lulls during an innings and sometimes gets stuck in a rut. Is it really the honours board that is motivating him or Sri Lanka not feeding his strengths? Ian Bell brought some impetus in that last over and Richard Clarke has some advice: “Bosh a quick hundred after lunch, ball turning square, only nine wickets to get – how many left handers do they have again?” Three, I think, Richard. And back on Rob’s riff on great fictional cricket matches on TV, here’s Victor Ward’s contribution . “TV cricket at its finest here with a delightful offside cut from Pa Larkin in The Darling Buds of May. The entire series was filmed in and around my village in Kent, with this scene being shot at Little Chart Cricket Club. I was only 10 at the time but still fondly remember meeting the cast and getting my first kiss from a young Catherine Zeta Jones. Ah what could have been…” You could have been Grady Tripp, Victor. Forest Whitaker’s bowling action in The Crying Game has to be the most inauthentic piece of fictional cricket – he ran in like Tessa Sanderson. There was also the Don Bradman character in Bodyline who raised his bat to salute the standing crowd as he walked to the wicket. 67th over: England 260-3 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 86, Bell 13) You want impetus? Ian Ronald Bell can do impetus. Ian Ronald Bell can do anything . He steers consecutive deliveries from Fernando to the vacant third-man boundary, and then makes it three fours in four balls with a beautiful back-foot force through the covers. Lovely stuff. At this moment in time, batting is frighteningly easy for him. Sixteen from Fernando’s over, and that’s lunch. England scored 111 in 26 overs, which isn’t bad, but they slowed down towards lunch. They lead by 267. Join Rob Bagchi for the afternoon session. 66th over: England 244-3 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 86, Bell 0) A wicket maiden from Herath. The last eight overs have produced 12 runs and a wicket. Declaration batting, England-style. “Surely the other consideration is entertainment?” says Ross Bennett. “A reasonably ‘sporting’ declaration that led Sir Lanka to try and chase the game has to be better than leaving them to just bat out time? We’re constantly told that Test cricket has to work hard to survive – a positive attitude to declarations, and a (highly unlikely) more understanding attitude when it backfires would be better for the game as a whole. Or am I just a wide-eyed innocent?” I’m afraid you are. And you really can’t leave your back door unlocked in the 21st century. You should see what they’re doing to your favourite rug! WICKET! England 244-3 (Pietersen LBW b Herath 72) KP falls again to the left-arm spinner, but there is no real shame in this dismissal. Herath switched to over the wicket and bowled Pietersen third ball with a jaffa that pitched well outside leg and then turned a mile to hit the top of off stump. Shades of Ashley Giles to Damien Martyn in 2005. I suppose Pietersen should have covered his stumps with his right leg, but it was still a fantastic delivery. He looks quizzically at the pitch for a couple of seconds and then walks off to a nice ovation. He will feel a lot better about himself. 65th over: England 244-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 86, Pietersen 72) A maiden from Fernando. Am I missing something obvious, or is this all a bit peculiar? Cook in particular is just batting time rather than forcing the issue. He has now scored five runs from his last 35 balls. “You know, not all of the OBO’s readers are in the UK and familiar with all references,” says Erik Petersen. “As this is at least nominally a family OBO, it might be worthwhile to explain the perfectly legitimate nature of the Screwfix Catalogue.” 64th over: England 244-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 86, Pietersen 72) Three singles from Herath’s over. I don’t really understand why England aren’t giving it some humpty. “I like to read out loud the synopses that Sky writes for episodes of Star Trek Voyager,” says Robert Hogg. “I don’t like to watch the episodes themselves as I have already seen most of them quite a few times, but the synopsis reading has if anything grown from strength to strength. On a sidenote I don’t recall Star Trek ever covering cricket although they did have an episode in Deep Space Nine where they played baseball against a team of Vulcans (who were very good!).” 63rd over: England 241-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 84, Pietersen 71) Pietersen drags an inswinger from Fernando through midwicket for a couple. That’s all for the over, which it makes 17 runs from the last seven. It’s hard to explain. “The saddest thing about me?” says Alex Collins. “When I was at school I realised I could recite the alphabet backwards significantly more quickly than my peers but never had the opportunity to demonstrate my prowess in public. I nurtured my talent for years, practising on my own. Last year, 24 years later, I was given it as a challenge in a drinking game. I mixed up d and c and had to take the forfeit.” That’s such a b 62nd over: England 239-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 84, Pietersen 69) Make that three from the last 24 deliveries for Cook. It’s hard to understand that rate of scoring in the circumstances, but I’m sure he has his reasons. ” How about this match as a guide for when England declare?” says Garreth Rule. “Parallels are spooky: near parity on first innings, Strauss getting an early duck second up and opposition captain injured and batting down the order. If only we still had Hoggy at his prime…” What a day that was. I remembering OBO it with Booth. We were so joyous that I think there might even have been eye contact. 61st over: England 238-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 84, Pietersen 68) Fernando, who is a few mph quicker than the other Sri Lankan seamers, is getting some unpleasant bounce at times. Pietersen just about gets on top of one such delivery and deflects it to fine leg for two. At the other end, Cook has scored three from his last 20 deliveries. “The saddest thing about me?” asks Nick Williamson. “Where to start, obviously, but a good indication of my sadness levels would be the genuine excitement I got when a came home the other week to find the latest Screwfix Direct catalogue had been delivered, my wife and kids were not yet home, and I’d have an hour or so to peruse it undisturbed.” Breaking news on the health reforms 59th over: England 233-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 84, Pietersen 64) A single from Fernando’s over. England haven’t scored an authentic boundary for ten overs – Cook and Pietersen got one each off the edge – and now might be the time to start playing silly buggers, or at least to move up a gear. “If it is quick runs that England need,” says Ian Burch, “then they could promote Competitive Dad up the order .” 58th over: England 232-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 84, Pietersen 63) “Outside Edge was brilliant,” says Mike Selvey. “A confession: of all the sad things about me, one of the saddest is that I can whistle the theme tune to ‘Terry and June’. Where does that rate on a sad scale of one to ten?” The riff the OBO has been waiting for all these years: what is the saddest thing about you? 57th over: England 226-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 82, Pietersen 62) Cook misses a cut stroke at Fernando. I think he was beaten for pace. Not sure what happened after that. I’m all over the place this morning, sorry. 56th over: England 224-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 81, Pietersen 61) Cook inside edges a big-spinning delivery from Herath wide of the keeper and away for four. Actually, it hit Prasanna Jayawardene on the right leg, but that wasn’t really a chance: his reaction time was 0.0000000000000000000000001 seconds. England have scored at a really good rate this morning without needing to play silly buggers. That’s 76 in 16 overs now. “While I’m all for Strauss being positive and setting up a game, I think we’d be better suited leaving them something they can’t chase,” says James Smith. “360 in 55 overs. That way we can keep attacking fields all the time, whereas if the Sri Lankans shoot to 100-0 chasing 250/300 we’d have to change fields accordingly and reduce wicket taking potential. Sounds defensive, but I think it means we can attack for longer, If that makes sense!” It does indeed, although field placing has changed a bit in that respect. Even if runs are irrelevant in terms of the match, captains like to deny modern batsmen the oxygen of runs. That is extremely important. It’s not just a case of getting a lead of 12 million and having eight slips. 55th over: England 217-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 76, Pietersen 59) Pietersen has a flick at the new bowler Fernando and is dropped by the keeper Jayawardene, a very difficult diving chance down the leg side. He could only fingertip it for four. Eight from the over. Here, by the way, are the Tests in which England have run out of time , with the opposition seven or more down in the fourth innings. “Steve Waugh?” says Lord Selvey. “No he wouldn’t, not in the situation or stage of development that England are in. It is about winning series. they will leave themselves a chance but not Sri Lanka.” Waugh did set New Zealand 284 in 57 overs in 2001-02 , although obviously he had better bowlers and Australia had developed further. I still think that, with this team and in this match situation, he would make a much more aggressive declaration than this England team will. The absence of Dilshan changes the situation completely. 54th over: England 209-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 74, Pietersen 52) “Surely this gentle Sunday-evening classic is too brilliant not to mention,” says Nik Huggins. “On this form Timothy Spall would be the perfect choice to play Robert Key in the Hollywood movie version of his illustrious career.” 53rd over: England 208-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 74, Pietersen 52) There is a resounding clunk every time the ball hits Pietersen’s bat, particularly when he drives. Two singles from Lakmal’s over, which makes it 60 from 13 this morning. That’s a decent rate of scoring. 52nd over: England 206-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 73, Pietersen 51) “Realistically, a Test captain one up in a series is never going to run any serious risk of defeat by declaring, if he can secure a draw by batting on, is he?” says Justin Horton. “I’d be astonished if Strauss set 300 in 70. 300+ in 60, just conceivably.” I’d be astonished, too, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t. Steve Waugh would have done. And 300 in 70 is not a “serious risk” of defeat. A Sri Lankan line up without Dilshan will chase that, I reckon, once every 30 or 40 innings. Conversely, the extra few overs might be the difference between a draw and a victory once every 10 innings – how many times have England drawn a Test the opposition seven, eight or nine down – not to mention the fact that the sniff of victory will make Sri Lanka play more positively and increase the chance of wickets. The odds are all in England’s favour. If you took away the stigma of losing after a declaration, captains would be much more positive. And ultimately the stigma doesn’t mean anything. It’s like with football substitutions: contrast the likes of Sir Alex Ferguson and Jose Mourinho, who will take huge risks to win a game even though they realise they will occasionally lose one, with Rafa Benitez, who won’t. Ferguson and Mourinho might win eight, draw one and lose one; Benitez might win six, draw four and lose none. Benitez avoids the stigma of defeat after making risky substitutions, but who gets the most points? That said, it’s all just opinions, and mine are invariably wrong. 51st over: England 201-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 72, Pietersen 50) Cook is beaten by a peach from Lakmal that jags away off the seam, and he edges the next ball on the bounce to gully. A single to midwicket brings up the 200, and then a quick single from Pietersen brings up a much needed half century. He lifts his bat modestly, almost shyly, for just a couple of seconds. England’s lead is 208 . “If we’re doing ‘cricket in fictional telly’,” says Andy Smith, “then you can’t beat this surely .” I am inordinately excited about the prospect of getting home tonight and watching all these links. I’m serious. I don’t care if people think it’s sad. That lot need to get out less. 50th over: England 198-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 71, Pietersen 48) There is a bit of turn for Herath, and it’s likely that Swann will be England’s main bowler this afternoon. Just a single from the over. “The 44th over’s Josh Robinson shouldn’t worry, since he is not alone. On the other hand, he has me for company. I often follow just the OBO, and frequently miss wickets as I rubberneck the Smyth car crash am entranced by Rob’s prose.” 49th over: England 197-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 71, Pietersen 47) Pietersen drives Lakmal for consecutive boundaries, the first through mid off and the second gunbarrel straight. A cathartic fifty is just three runs away. ” Another one ,” says Alan White. “Featuring Sergeant Lewis caressing the ball off the back foot like Stewart in his prime, selflessly running himself out, showboating in the field and finally moving it both ways with a smooth, open-chested action. What a legend.” 48th over: England 187-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 70, Pietersen 38) Herath is on, 35 minutes too late. Pietersen charges his second ball, with the ball deflecting to slip as Pietersen runs desperately back into his crease. Two from the over. “Is this going to be one of those where Strauss is damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t?” says Robin Hazlehurst. “Whenever (if) he declares he’ll be criticised for being too early and taking an unnecessary risk or for being too late and not leaving enough time, and even if England win then this will be deemed beside the point. He could quite sensibly play for 1-0 and be condemned for cowardice, he could try for 2-0 and be condemned for foolhardiness, especially given England’s attack. Under what circumstances will he not be criticised?” If England win. That is how things generally work in this country. Personally I would set them about 300 in 70 overs. If Sri Lanka win from there, we should praise them rather than criticise Strauss and Flower. This isn’t the 1980s, we’re not all using weird hairspray and England don’t need to be hanging on to a 1-0 lead. They should be looking to win this series 3-0. 47th over: England 185-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 69, Pietersen 37) Lakmal gets one to rear nastily and smack into the glove and forearm of Pietersen, who wrings his hand in pain. He’ll need a bit of treatment. That will interest England’s tall seamers. Pietersen then takes a Red Bull single to mid off; he’d have been home even if the throw had hit the stumps. Then there’s another no-ball, the sixth of the morning. What are the odds? “When I clicked on that link from the Sooty Show, YouTube said ’668 viewings’, “says Richard Naylor. “Could be interesting to see how many it’s on by the end of the OBO today.” 667? 46th over: England 180-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 68, Pietersen 35) Still no sign of Rangana Herath, the left-arm spinner, to bowl at Pietersen. Sri Lanka might have let the tortoise get away from them, because Pietersen is starting to look more confident and has just flashed a full delivery from Welegedera thrillingly through extra cover for four. “Shot!” exclaims Mike Atherton in the Sky box. Two balls later, Pietersen drives four more straight down the ground. That was delightful, maker’s-name stuff. England have scored 30 from the last four overs. In other news, here are two fantastic clips from Alan White. “My mate says he saw a Doctor Who documentary which said this was the first ball Peter Davidson bowled and the batsman hadn’t been told to miss it. Lovely action. Also, this Dad’s Army episode is brilliant and features a cameo from Fred Trueman .” 45th over: England 168-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 67, Pietersen 25) It’s pretty quiet at Lord’s at the moment, a case of Before the Lord Mayor’s Show, or before the Lord’s Mare Show if England’s seamers have another minor shocker. A no-ball from Lakmal brings up the fifty partnership. “Rob, I’ve been trying to organise a meeting in London after lunch today to give me an excuse to pop into Lord’s after tea and watch a procession of Sri Lankans walk back to the pavilion,” says Luke Richardson. “Of course, if I’d been successful, no potentially exciting finish would be on the cards. Having drawn a blank with several London-based customers, I will be forced to follow the OBO. Just saying. Mind you, what’s stopping England just shutting up shop at 1-0 up? Perhaps I should be grateful.” 44th over: England 166-2 (led by seven on first innings; Cook 67, Pietersen 24) Pietersen walks into one from Welegedera and slices a drive to third man for four, all along the ground. Cook survives a muted LBW shout from a ball that was angling down the leg side before crashing a short ball through the covers for four. Twelve from the over. “Morning Smyth, morning everybody,” says Josh Robinson. “After spending the best part of a decade following cricket primarily on the OBO, I’m beginning to get worried about the effects its having on me. A case in point: about half an hour after I returned from a two-hour lunch break yesterday, it occurred to me that I’d checked to see if the email I’d fired off just before going had been used (it hadn’t), but had no idea as to the score. Has any of your other reader noticed similarly troubling patterns?” The trouble with your emails, Robinson, is that they are utter rubbish half of them are quarantined. I have no idea why. Our quarantine system is a bit random, and you don’t see the emails until the next day. 43rd over: England 154-2 (Cook 63, Pietersen 17) This is a tricky little innings for Pietersen, who must balance his own desperate need for any runs with the team’s need for quick runs. He works a single to midwicket, and then Cook pushes a couple through extra cover. No rush yet from these two, who will take around 15 minutes to get their eyes in again. “Nice preamble,” lies Luke Dealtry. “OR you could say that we as humans like to see patterns all around us, we’re prone to foistering narratives onto events before events are given a chance to unravel. This game is going to turn out like Adelaide… it’s a perfect time for KP to come back to form… if Alistair Cook scores 141*, his average will climb above 50… Things rarely turn out like that, though, just like what happened last week in Cardiff. Yes, exactly like Cardiff.” 42nd over: England 150-2 (Cook 61, Pietersen 16) Richie Benaud was always an advocate of a declaration that gave the opposition a sniff of victory, but the Andrews tend to prefer batting on until they cannot lose. The timing of the declaration will partly depend on how long the likes of Pietersen and Morgan bat. It’s a slow start to the day, with one from Welegedara’s over. Meanwhile, my colleague James Dart has just sent this magnificent link . I’m almost in tears of joy. Tillakaratne Dilshan has a hairline fracture of the thumb that was scrunched by Chris Tremlett on days two and three. I imagine he’ll bat right down the order if necessary, as he is a tough bugger, but that news significantly increases England’s chances of victory. Preamble Pop isn’t the only thing that eats itself. Most things in life are a copy of a copy of a copy – and we’re not just talking about that special ensemble of yours; you know, the one you thought was unique and subtly marked you out as being more distinctive, more modish, more erotic than your peers. Erm, yes. Anyway, it’s also true that Test cricket eats itself: almost every match has a precedent that first gives us a sense of how things might progress, and then helps us to comprehend what does eventually happen. Those precedents inevitably change as the match develops. Earlier in this Test we were tentatively citing The Oval 1998, then Adelaide 2006 (it’s okay, we can say that word now). This morning, however, we are reminded of a more recent contest, at Cardiff eight days ago. That match had a slight variation, in that Sri Lanka were batting in the third innings and there was a theoretical time/runs equation, but the essential theme is the same: to win the match, England’s bowlers need to take ten Sri Lankan wickets in approximately the same amount of time it takes the average Englishman to say ‘Tharanga Paranavitana’. First, their batsmen must set up a declaration. England will resume on 149 for two, a lead of 156, with 98 overs to be bowled today if, as expected, the weather stays good. They should attempt to bat for an absolute maximum of 40 overs – if they score at close to a run a ball they could even declare at lunch – and then let Graeme Swann go to work. It’s an easy game, this. Sri Lanka in England 2011 England cricket team Sri Lanka cricket team Cricket Over by over reports Rob Smyth Rob Bagchi guardian.co.uk

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