Comedy writer and TV producer John Lloyd is a lifelong fan of all things Mac and of a 15-year-old Porsche 911 What’s your favourite piece of technology, and how has it improved your life? Well, the Mac completely changed my life. I first came across that little boxy square Mac in the 80s – it was a cubic thing. I was taught to use it by Lise Mayer, one of the writers of The Young Ones. It had everything you needed, it was the most exciting thing. I’m a dedicated Apple Mac person. When was the last time you used it, and what for? I use my Mac all the time – more or less 24 hours a day. I’ve got five different computers, and that is the other problem – how do you collate this variety of information, because I use them all for different purposes. What additional features would you add if you could? That’s difficult to say, because all these devices now have many more things than I have time to use – but two things: one, something similar to a Babel Fish, with perfect translatability, because I work in many languages. Instant translation from one language to another. Another thing I would like is perfect speech recognition technology, so that I could speak words into a computer and it would transcribe them perfectly. Do you think it will be obsolete in 10 years’ time? Definitely. We will probably have stuff where you will be able to speak to it directly, almost like an implanted chip. We’re almost seeing the demise of the keyboard, such as the way we use the iPhone. What always frustrates you about technology in general? Very banal things. Fifteen years ago, I thought that I’d be smart if I was working in batteries rather than in television – we still haven’t come up with a battery that lasts forever. But my biggest frustration is forgetting to bring the charger. I also get very annoyed that every new iteration of a phone or computer requires a new set of plugs. I’m starting to think that’s how computer and phone companies make most of their money. Is there any particular piece of technology that you have owned and hated? I do wonder why they haven’t managed to make a quiet hairdryer yet. My wife uses one every morning and they’re incredibly loud, aren’t they. If you had one tip about getting the best out of new technology, what would it be? Ask your children – unless you are a child. Kids seems to be able to do these things almost intuitively, while adults find them almost impossible. I’ve never read a computer manual in my life, so I always ask my children how these things work. Do you consider yourself to be a luddite or a nerd? I think neither, really. I think technology has great advantages, and I’m lost in admiration for the people who create it all. But if you meet a great chef, or great composer, it’s equally as mysterious how they do what they do. What’s the most expensive piece of technology you’ve ever owned? Probably my car – I have an extremely old Porsche 911, it’s about 15 years old. It was second hand when my wife bought it for me, but it was pretty pricey. Mac or PC, and why? I just think everything is better about the mac – the prettiness of the design, the ease of comprehension. It just feels like when you go from a Mac to the PC, if feels like going back to the horse and cart – slow and clunky. Creative people almost always tend to be Mac people. Do you still buy physical media such as CDs and DVDs, or do you download? What was your last purchase? I still do, and I know I will for a while, but I’m beginning to think I really should have a Kindle. I have thousands of books, and I read an enormous amount, but I think there is no question about the convenience of the Kindle. But I do like buying DVDs and CDs. I bought a lot of spy thrillers on DVD last year when I was scripting Johnny English 2 – from the Bourne Identity right back to The French Connection. Robot butlers – a good idea or not? No. I don’t want a robot. I’m against them – it’s a bit like convenience food, you’re a lot better off preparing your own food, aren’t you? What piece of technology would you most like to own? I’d love to have a helicopter, but I’m going to have to work a bit harder before I can afford one of those. • John Lloyd co-created the BBC series Not the Nine O’Clock News (with Sean Hardie) and ITV’s Spitting Image (with Peter Fluck and Roger Law). He also produced all four Blackadder series and is the brains behind QI. The QI app is available from the App Store. Comedy Television Stuart O’Connor guardian.co.uk