New Zealand v South Africa – LIVE

• Hit the auto-update button for the latest. It might work today • Send your thoughts to rob.smyth@guardian.co.uk 25th over: New Zealand 92-2 (Ryder 56, Taylor 26) This might be New Zealand’s window of opportunity, with the offspinner JP Duminy coming into the attack. Ryder chips high over extra cover for a couple, and two singles complete the over. “I’m torn,” says Jay Rose. “As an Australian, I desperately want to see the Kiwis win this one, but a hard-earned grudging respect for Graeme Smith makes me want to see him end his career with a WC trophy. Plus, I simply can’t see NZ beating India, which is even more important.” 24th over: New Zealand 88-2 (Ryder 53, Taylor 25) One from Kallis’s over. This is a good spell for South Africa, with the last five overs bringing only 12 runs. As Pat Symcox says on Sky, New Zealand’s dot-ball ratio has been too high today. Yet, for all that, they are still in a perfectly acceptable position. “Just to clarify – having children doesn’t mean you get up early; it just means your sleep is more fractured from 5-7am,” says Kristian Petterson. “Oh, and that your significant other loathes you even more than ever as they deal with said offspring as you snore. Apparently.” 23rd over: New Zealand 87-2 (Ryder 53, Taylor 25) Botha has been pretty economical today. Just three singles from that over, so his figures are now 7-0-19-0. “Can anyone give me a good reason,” begins Gary Naylor, “why SA deny themselves the services of the best fielder in the world in order to use him as a below average keeper?” Because fielding isn’t quantified. Which is not to say you don’t have a point. 22nd over: New Zealand 84-2 (Ryder 51, Taylor 24) Nobody really knows what a good score on is on what is a pretty slow pitch, but I reckon New Zealand would take 250. Taylor opens the face to glide Kallis to third man for a single. Then Ryder pushes a single to reach a really good half-century, defiant at first and controlled thereafter. He almost falls to the last delivery, however, gloving an attempted hook to third man for a single. “Dear Coronation Street, I like cookery programmes,” says Scott Murray. “Please stop telling stories about people in Manchester and start doing recipes. Dear Brian Cox, I am frightened of the dark. Please stop talking about space.” 21st over: New Zealand 80-2 (Ryder 49, Taylor 22) Three singles from Botha’s over. South Africa could do with a wicket here. They might just, for the first time, be thinking dark thoughts. “I’m sensing,” begins Jonathan Wood, “that Clinton isn’t a morning person.” 20th over: New Zealand 77-2 (Ryder 48, Taylor 20) Graeme Smith continues to shuffle his bowlers – he really is a kid in a sweet shop – with Kallis replacing Morkel. Taylor ducks under an existentialism-heavy bouncer, and there are just two from the over. “I don’t even read the commentary here anymore, except maybe the bits in bold,” says Niall Harden. “I’m here for the great life advice, withering sarcasm, Freudian misprints and unsettling videos. I don’t even really understand rugby.” 19th over: New Zealand 75-2 (Ryder 47, Taylor 19) Botha replaces Tahir, and the hitherto strokeless Taylor plays a gorgeous extra-cover drive for four. That’s his first boundary. This has been an extremely good partnership, not least because it would have been easy to wave the white one after that abysmal start. “If Steve Kerr wants to watch the Sharks/Crusaders game he should head to the Famous Three Kings just by West Ken tube,” says John O’Mahony. “Probably the best sports-watching pub ever. They have about 50-odd screens and they all seem to be showing something different. Some of the tables even have their own TV. Not been there for a couple of years mind so might have gone downhill.” Everything does. It says here. 18th over: New Zealand 69-2 (Ryder 44, Taylor 14) Morkel hasn’t been at his best today – too wide to Ryder in particular, and he clubs two more through the covers. Whatever you do, don’t let him free those massive arms. Morkel gets a slower ball wrong later in the over and Ryder helps it around the corner for four to bring up a good fifty partnership. “In response to Guy Hornsby’s comments in the 9th over, people who get up early every day are not preternaturally happy people,” says Ewan Dunnett. “They are usually depressed and full of fear. So much so they can’t sleep. Children’s television presenters, much like many comedians, are full of inner demons.” Children’s TV presenters are a fascinating genre of human. Have you seen that lass on Dancing On Ice. I haven’t, because I have never watched Dancing On Ice, ever , but my friends tell me she has a ceaseless jauntiness that borders on the disconcerting. 17th over: New Zealand 61-2 (Ryder 39, Taylor 13) New Zealand must find a way to impose themselves on Tahir, which is easier typed from thousands of miles away than done. Just three from the over, which is again played with a respect that borders on fear. “How about a bit more commentary about the game,” says Clinton Rowling. “Remember that thing people are logging on to the live feed to follow?? As much as I find your campness amusing and your amazement that people get up early slightly interesting I’m logged on to follow a quarter final game at the cricket World Cup….” Sure. Where do I send the editorial consultancy fee? And when do I come and tell you how to do your job? 16th over: New Zealand 58-2 (Ryder 37, Taylor 12) The returning Morkel’s first ball is belaboured towards backward point by Ryder, and Duminy saves four with a brilliant diving save. Just one from the over, but this has been a decent comeback from New Zealand. Their tactic should be to just stay in the game as long as possible and hope that the asphyxiating pressure does for South Africa later on. It goes against all logic, but I think New Zealand have got a real chance today. “A question for OBO readers,” says Steve Kerr. “Does anyone know of a London pub showing the Crusaders/Sharks Super XV game live on Sunday? Obviously can’t be arsed going to Twickenham and will donate independently here .” 15th over: New Zealand 57-2 (Ryder 36, Taylor 12) There’s more chance of Lord Henry Manners of Mannersville zestily picking his nose at the dinner table than there is of Ryder picking Tahir. He hasn’t got a clue, but he’s getting away with it for now. Taylor isn’t entirely comfortable either and he gets a leading edge that falls safely on the off side. “In the 6th over, when it was 16-2, you said that South Africa could have this game won by the 10th over,” says Luke Dealtry. “It’s now the 13th over and the Kiwis are 50-2. CHOKERS!” You said the word. You’re not supposed to do that. If you say the C-word five times in a mirror, terrible things will happen . 14th over: New Zealand 53-2 (Ryder 35, Taylor 9) Three singles from Peterson’s over. “Oh come on all you townies, out here in the wilds of Oxonshire there is the dawn chorus (coming in strong at about 0500 currently but set to move earlier),” says Angus Doulton. “Exactly what is needed to fortify one for a morning’s OBO humour. Actually even in the midst of town, you’d be surprised what a few blackbirds can do to support the critical first mug of tea.” I wish I was in bed. Normally, if you wake up early by accident, you can spend an hour moseying around, then get an extra nap in and still be up for midday when the day formally begins. 13th over: New Zealand 50-2 (Ryder 34, Taylor 7) Imran Tahir is going to bowl. He has stunning record in this tournament – 12 wickets at an average of 9.83 – and his second ball is a delicious googly that beats Ryder all ends up. Three from the over. “Rob old chap, am I the only one picking up a bit of, umm, Kenneth Williams campness in your commentary this morning?” says Steve Hudson. “Lovely man paunch? Danny M’s whispered sweet nothings? If you’re building up to a frank admission of some sort, just let me tell you that the OBO crew will be very supportive. After all, there’s no room for intolerance in the world of online bilge these days. We’ll tolerate anything. Clearly.” 12th over: New Zealand 47-2 (Ryder 33, Taylor 5) Peterson is back for Morkel, who took a little bit of abuse from Ryder. As does Peterson when a widish delivery is clattered through the covers for four. He gets four more to the same area off the last ball of the over, this time with a cut stroke. Ryder looks dangerous. “What a great start by the South Africans,” says George Miller. “Peterson has really been a revelation for us in the WC. Although we are supposed to working on three papers (tomorrow, Sunday and Monday), production has pretty much ground to a halt.” 11th over: New Zealand 36-2 (Ryder 25, Taylor 4) “Any tips on getting my colleagues in Norway to embrace the majestic game that is cricket (even if it is the pyjama format)?” says Al Weeks. “I can’t see why it’s not a big hit here already, the climate is perfect for it and with the recent performance of minor nations they’ve probably got a chance of putting an ad hoc team together and giving England a close game.” Show them lots of videos of Viv. He was even cooler than your average Scandinavian, so they’ll surely recognise the swagger . 10th over: New Zealand 34-2 (Ryder 24, Taylor 3) Ryder spanks another square drive for four off Morkel, despite or perhaps because of the presence of Kallis at short point. It went through his legs in fact. Ryder then pulls through square leg for three. He’s a dangerous customer, and he looks in the mood to give it some humpty. “I’m a Kiwi watching in Wellington,” says Cat Doran. “Expecting an early night once we implode.” Now that’s what I call confidence. 9th over: New Zealand 27-2 (Ryder 17, Taylor 3) Crikey, Danny Morrison has entered the commentary box and is now using that soft, ticklish voice of his. I bet he whispers the sweetest nothings. Botha bowls a leg-side wide and then Ryder pushes a single to mid off. NZ bat a long way down – Oram is down to come in at No9 – so there’s no need to panic just yet. But they need to find a bowler to target, and I’m not sure there are any. “I don’t really get why anyone would want to get up early every day,” says Guy Hornsby. “It’s a necessity in order to pay the bills, to top up the supply of Liver Compromiser. The sort of people that do it are the preternaturally happy people – like children’s TV presenters – that talk in awful lingo: work/life balance, working ‘clever’, maximising your potential, living life to the full. I just got a bit of sick in my mouth from that. There are so few jobs that would make you want to do that. Astronaut? Actor? International playboy? OBO writer? I bet Hugh Hefner doesn’t get up in the morning. And yes, I’m hungover.” I just typed ‘children’s TV presenter’ into google, and look what was the second result . 8th over: New Zealand 24-2 (Ryder 16, Taylor 2) Morkel replaces Steyn, and Ryder flays a full delivery square on the off side for four. Good shot. “If you want to become a morning person it is simple – have a small child (yes yes I know, OBO readers, but even Millings has managed),” says Robin Hazlehurst. “You will get up at ungodly hours for several years and eventually get used to it. Option two, be a small child, they are certainly morning people. You were probably one too once, you just don’t remember.” 7th over: New Zealand 17-2 (Ryder 10, Taylor 1) One from another crafty Botha over. New Zealand are in all sorts of bother, already. “Yesterday’s link to the freak yoga instructor and his rooster was bad enough, but linking to Nick Berry singing that execrable dirge is going too far,” says Martin Sinclair. “I’d rather complete my census than sit through that twaddle!” 6th over: New Zealand 16-2 (Ryder 10, Taylor 0) In their last World Cup knockout game, the 2007 semi-final , South Africa lost the match inside 10 overs. They might have won this one by the 10th over. They have been outstanding. “You can rail against morning people all you want,” says Peter Hanes, “but never forget that they’re the ones that ensure that the supermarket is stocked with fish fingers by the time you get there.” WICKET! New Zealand 16-2 (Guptill c Botha b Steyn 1) This is too easy for South Africa. Steyn dupes Guptill with a lovely slower ball, and he drives it high in the air to mid off, where Botha takes a nonchalant running catch. 5th over: New Zealand 15-1 (Guptill 1, Ryder 9) The offspinner Johan Botha replaces Robin Peterson. As Mark Nicholas says on Sky, Graeme Smith is loving captaining a side with so many options. It’s like going from the basic five channels to the full Sky+ experience, or so I’d imagine if I had Sky. Botha so nearly zips a quicker one through Ryder, who gets a very late inside edge. One from a very good over. South Africa have been seriously impressive thus far. “Morning people have just taken the next logical step from pretending they didn’t want to come to the party you didn’t invite them to,” says Dan Smith. “They couldn’t come to that party, or indeed any other event you wouldn’t want them at, because they need to be up bright and early for a granola-fuelled jog to the office. I spit in their carrot juice.” 4th over: New Zealand 14-1 (Guptill 1, Ryder 8) An unusually sloppy over from Steyn includes a low full toss and a leg-side wide to Ryder, who then inside edges a hot inswinger to fine leg for four. These are very dangerous times for New Zealand, who could fold if they lose another one here. Ryder ends the over by clunking a pull over mid on for three. “Please can we have early mention for what I expect to be the star of today’s game?” says Neil Withers. “I am of course referring to Daniel Vettori’s amazing moustache – I saw it last night on TV and couldn’t stop laughing! It’s the finest display of slug-balancing since Baldrick.” 3rd over: New Zealand 6-1 (Guptill 1, Ryder 1) Robin Peterson is having quite a tournament. “This is it, isn’t it?” says Duncan Bonnett. “I’ve spent the whole of last night and this morning not laughing at the Aussies in case it comes back to bite my boys as karmic revenge. We need to get into the Kiwi middle order quickly, or I’m afraid the ahem, nerves, will start to jangle out there. On paper, we’re too strong for the Kiwis, but what if they pick scissors instead of rock?” Could make a ‘Dale Stone’ joke. Doesn’t really work . Dale Stone! WICKET! New Zealand 5-1 (B McCullum ct and b Peterson 4) A sensational return catch from Robin Peterson gets rid of the dangerman Brendon McCullum. He danced down the track but was done by a bit of extra bounce and pushed the ball back to the left of Peterson, who dived and then extended a telescopic arm to take a wonderful catch. He took an unbelievable catch off his own bowling earlier in the tournament to dismiss Ian Bell, and this was comparable. Brilliant stuff. 2nd over: New Zealand 5-0 (Guptill 1, B McCullum 4) Dale Steyn’s first ball is driven urgently through extra cover for three by Brendon McCullum. Those are the only runs from the over, although one delivery to Guptill bounces twice before reaching the keeper, a reflection of the pace of this pitch. New Zealand have beaten South Africa at the last two World Cups, famously so in 2003 when Stephen Fleming played an awesome innings; they are not the same side these days, but don’t write them off, at least not until they collapse to 40 for seven. They certainly have a puncher’s chance now that they are batting first. “Hold your horses Smyth, my boy,” says Andrew Jobson. “In the (admittedly unlikely) event of the match being abandoned, the higher-ranked team (SA) progresses. So New Zealand would be knocked out, and SA could then get beaten in the semi by the winner of SL-Eng, preserving both teams’ winless records.” 1st over: New Zealand 2-0 (Guptill 1, B McCullum 1) South Africa open with a spinner, as usual. How odd it is to type that sentence. Today it’s Robin Peterson rather than Johan Botha and his first over, played cagily, brings just a couple of singles. “Can today’s match officially be termed a west London derby?” says Elliot Carr-Barnsley. “Also, cracking article by Selvey on Yardy’s depression.” It was. Selve is in storming form at the moment. Morning people Who are these weird “morning people” I keep seeing? They’re a menace to society with their walking, talking and general 6am sentience. My alarm has been going off before 5.30 and 6 throughout this World Cup, and I’ve not felt so consistently violated since I inexplicably watched most of the first season of Gossip Girl in one hit. Why would anyone get up at such an hour, never mind seem so jaunty and busy ? Yes we all admire your lust for life and the incontrovertibly superior energy content of your diet, but please don’t rub in our face, at least not before midday. Thankfully the Guardian power-showers are one of the best things that have ever happened to anyone, ever, so I now feel vaguely human. But I still don’t understand these strange “morning people”. They’re worse than the paediatricians. There’s even a guide how to be a morning person . No thanks! As these two are serial losers in the World Cup knockout stages , here is some encouragement for them from one of the most inspiring figures ever to bestride this earth. Ignore the bit at the top right of the video. New Zealand have won the toss and will bat first. I think they had to do that to have a realistic chance of victory. That sets this game up beautifully. If they put 250 on the board, chase won’t be the only CH-word we’ll be mentioning as South Africa’s batsmen go about their business. Both sides have picked three frontline spinners. Daniel Vettori returns to the side, even though he is not fully fit, and the left-armer Luke Woodcock also comes in, with James Franklin omitted. South Africa have Johan Botha, Imran Tahir and Robin Peterson, while the big three – Dale Steyn, Morne Morkel and AB de Villiers – return after sitting out the final group games against Bangladesh. Morne van Wyk misses out as a result. New Zealand Guptill, B McCullum (wk), Ryder, Taylor, Styris, Williamson, Vettori, N McCullum, Oram, Southee, Woodcock. South Africa Smith (c), Amla, Kallis, de Villiers (wk), Duminy, du Plessis, Botha, Peterson, Steyn, Morkel, Tahir. New Zealand at the World Cup Group stages: P61 W39 L22 (Win percentage: 64) Knockout games: P6 W0 L6 (Win percentage: 0) South Africa at the World Cup Group stages: P42 W30 L11 T1 (Win percentage: 71) Knockout games: P4 W0 L3 T1 (Win percentage: 0) An early email, from Guy Collier “So this isn’t exactly to do with the cricket but stick with me and I will do my best to bring it around. I am currently running a social experiment to see what happens when we open up questions of identity and move away from the traditional tick box approach you see in the census form – and if one small boy, albeit one who is actually 6ft tall and 30, can run a census from his bedroom using just social media. And the power of OBO cricket. “I am looking for any and all plugs to encourage people to state on Twitter #altcensus today I am…. I will gather all the statements to see how they compare to the national census. If anyone has any questions they can check www.alternativecensus.org.uk . So here is my tenuous cricket link: what box do half the England cricket team tick when asked about national identity…? Maybe if they took part in the Alternative Census we could find out!” The power of OBO cricket. Arf! The winners of this match will play either Sri Lanka or England in Colombo on Tuesday. This will be played before the India v Pakistan semi-final. Scandalous, clearly, but all part of the plan from cricket’s governing body, the BCCI, to ensure that India win. Preamble Morning. Who says 50-over cricket has nothing new to offer? This fascinating competition will enter virgin territory today, when either South Africa and New Zealand will win a World Cup knockout game for the first time. The fact they have not done so before is pretty staggering, even if it is not quite the statgasm we might think. This is only the second World Cup to have quarter-finals, so there haven’t been that many knockout games down the years: this is the 34th in total, of which six have been lost by New Zealand and four by South Africa. Since South Africa’s readmission to international cricket, the two sides have strikingly similar records. They were semi-finalists in 1992, 1999 and 2007; they were quarter-finalists in 1996; and they failed to reach the knockout stages in 2003. Yet a more relevant comparison might be between South Africa and another New Zealand team: the rugby boys, who have also found umpteen weird and wonderful ways not to win a World Cup . If South Africa discover another today, in a match they should win, a popular C-word may well be trending on a social networking site near you. (Insert your own ‘and chokers will be trending too’ joke here.) Cricket World Cup 2011 New Zealand cricket team South Africa cricket team Cricket Over by over reports Rob Smyth guardian.co.uk

Posted by on March 25, 2011. Filed under News, Politics, World News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.